Let My Star Rise On Your Night

Sep 24, 2014 13:40

Title: Let My Star Rise On Your Night
Pairing: Kyungsoo/Jongin
Word Count: ~4.7k
Summary: Kyungsoo sings and Jongin is learning how to rule a country (and his heart).
written for kaisoommer / xiujaemin


This is a love story between Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin. This is how it all begins.

Or something like that.

Jongin becomes the crown prince at sixteen, which is a little late if compared to the Joseon era but with today's advances in healthcare and the highly improved quality of life, South Korea’s last king -- before Jongin's father -- his grandfather lives to a ripe old age of 89 before passing on the the reign to his oldest son.

It’s more than just a title, he realises in dismay, because he is to be taken out of school and enter the Royal Academy. Jongin doesn't want this. When the news came to him, Jongin finds himself breathing hard, gutted that the responsibilities are coming earlier than they should. If possible at all, Jongin doesn’t want to be the crown prince, or king for that matter. He has read the guidebooks, highlighting the importance and the roles of royal family, especially those with rank. He knows this means his life is over. People will not even be calling him by his name, but his title. He isn’t sure he wants that at sixteen.

“You pulled me out of school without telling me.” He watches his father pace up and down the office. There are boxes everywhere -- they will be moving to the goong next week, after all. “Dad." Your Majesty, he thinks but they are not in the palace yet. He’s officially still not the king. Jongin still has his father.

“Jongin,” his father says and suddenly, he understands. He sees the worry lines creasing upon his forehead, mouth turned downwards at where this conversation is going. Jongin sees all these on his father’s face and he understands. “You are going to be the crown prince of south korea. Of course, you have to be schooled at the royal academy. You know you have to. I don’t even know why I let you think otherwise, by enrolling you in that private school that teaches you nothing about running the country. When i was your age, I went to the academy as soon as I was of schooling age. Your grandfather--”

This is when Jongin starts to tune him out. They have talked about this -- numerous times, in fact -- and Jongin doesn’t think he’s in the mood to stomach another lecture on how he has had it good all these times. That he can’t run away from his destiny, that one day, it will be his turn to take over the throne.

Jongin sits down and promptly curls his fists on his lap. There are things his father isn’t saying. he’s tired and hasn’t been sleeping, he’s expected to take office by next week and here is his son refusing his birthright title and making things a little hard. He takes a measured breath as he thinks of what he wants to say. Jongin has forgotten that he isn’t the only person suddenly thrusted into this mess; his own father is going to be king,

“I’m sorry,” Jongin sniffs. Then, he remembers. “Your majesty.”

His father looks up at that. He isn’t smiling because Jongin knows he has heard the defiance -- the resignation? the dismissal? that Jongin wants this conversation to be over more than anything else -- rolling underneath those two words but he doesn’t say anything else.

He waves Jongin away.

(And this is only the beginning.)

(Do Kyungsoo, maybe, comes in a little later than this.)

***

“What do you mean you can’t make it for Baekhyun’s 18th birthday party? He’s going to be an adult! It’s a huge milestone our friend has reached--”

“Jongdae,” Jongin sighs into the telephone, acutely aware that this conversation is probably recorded and that someone is listening, as he presses two fingers on his nose. “You know I cannot leave the country for non-official reasons. It’s the law. They don’t want us to use the taxpayers’ money to do things like--”

“Dude, the clothes you are wearing right now are probably from taxpayers’ money! The food you eat, the goong that you live in… all your expenses, you don’t even have to work--”

“And that is why I said I won’t go to that stupid birthday party!” Jongin snaps. His hands are shaking and he wants to grab jongdae by the neck and strangle him. “I am going to end this call. Using taxpayers’ money to pay my telephone bills, you know.”

“Jong--” Jongdae’s voice is considerably softer; he knows he has struck a nerve but Jongin will not hear any of it.

“Your highness,” Jongin corrects, fully irritated, now. “Don’t call anymore if you have nothing important to tell me. I’ll see you when I see you. Goodbye.”

***

The king and queen break the news of marriage to him two years later. Jongin hasn’t been briefed about this so he cannot help the sharp gaze he shoots the queen who barely bats an eyelash as she fiddles with the sleeves of her hanbok, as if she has been telling him about the weather or something. Which will never happen, either. Conversations with the king and queen rarely include such trivial matters. Jongin doesn’t remember when he last saw his mother crack a smile.

“Kyungsoo comes from a good family,” she says, leaning forward to pour herself a cup of tea. She gestures for Jongin to do the same for himself. Jongin shakes his head, leaving the pot of tea and his cup untouched. “Despite being an entertainer.”

“An entertainer?” Jongin cocks an eyebrow. This he has to hear. “You mean, what? An idol? Singer?”

“A very handsome idol,” the queen adds, a hint of a smile playing on her face. Her eyes remain unchanged, emotionless, though, as she shifts in her seat. “With a huge fanbase.”

“Handsome,” Jongin repeats the words faintly. “Fanbase...Kyungsoo… Kyungsoo is an idol? And male ? What.”

“Times have changed, Crown Prince,” the king chuckles. “The Do family is a very good family friend since way back. If you would care to look at Jung Sungyeol’s book on The Royal Family and Their Friends, you will know what I’m talking about.”

Jongin knew he was going to marry someone of the royal family’s choice but never quite male and an idol too.

“You have heard of the group EXO, right?” The queen asks, the words rolling of her tongue awkwardly, heavily. She blushes at herself and smiles, “They are very popular, I heard. And Kyungsoo is the main vocalist of the group.”

“No,” comes the reply and Jongin thinks it’s time to leave so he makes his move. So, he tells the king and queen this and leaves.

***

Kyungsoo, to his credit, is mostly quiet, has excellent manners and he’s also really good at following instructions. Interviews and TV shows with Kyungsoo on their marriage go smoothly because Kyungsoo knows when to smile and follows the script that has been prepared for him. South Korea is happy with the newly married royal couple and Jongin honestly has to thank Kyungsoo for being so cooperative.

He is rarely at the palace since he is often busy with Exo’s busy schedule. He gets to move about, travel and Jongin envies him at first till he realises that the Queen has also scheduled lessons and volunteering sessions for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo doesn’t complain, not even a single word, as he goes through each day and night, too busy to even greet Jongin when they pass each other apart from the usual curt nod.

He finally corners Kyungsoo, four months into their marriage, right after breakfast. Jongin knows Kyungsoo has some free time for a couple of hours before his managers come pick him up for a photoshoot at noon. He asks him why they don’t talk. Kyungsoo arches an eyebrow at that and regards him for a while with his huge eyes before answering.

“You’re the one who seems really cold,” Kyungsoo replies. He’s not speaking formally and Jongin fights the urge to reprimand him. But, this is rare. Kyungsoo has never conversed with him before so Jongin wants to hear him speak. “I don’t want to get in your way in case I annoy you further because I am aware that you are disagreeable to this marriage.”

“Who told you that?”

“Did you really think I wanted to marry you?” Kyungsoo’s voice is soft but his words hit Jongin hard. The truth always does that but Jongin appreciates his honesty. “I did this for my family. Whatever pride and honour they tried to uphold by being the Royal Family’s good friends or whatever bullshit that is... I did this for them.”

The blunt words are refreshing. Jongin finds himself smiling at Kyungsoo and nodding. “Fair enough.”

“Are we done?” Kyungsoo sighs. Tired voice. Up close and without make up, Kyungsoo looks incredibly tired, darkness under his eyes and his skin seems paler than usual. He has a small scar alongside his jaw and Jongin wonders how it has gotten there. Kyungsoo clears his throat, snapping Jongin out of his thoughts. “I have to go.”

“We can be friends, if you want,” Jongin blurts out and then internally recoiling in horror at the words that have escaped him. Kyungsoo slowly turns around and offers him a small smile. “We don’t have to act so cold to each other.”

Kyungsoo’s smile gets wider and Jongin thinks that’s A+ for effort so he takes what he can get and watches Kyungsoo leave, his own face cracking into a huge smile.

***

It must have been the loneliness. Definitely the loneliness because it happens when Baekhyun gets an offer to study Law at Cambridge and Jongdae is off to Paris to take a gap year before continuing his studies. Jongin finds his days quieter and utterly boring because his two best friends aren’t even in the same country for him to sneak out and have some fun with like he always had. They talk to him over Skype sometimes, but that’s it.

Kyungsoo becomes friendlier, making small talk during their meals and sharing a thing or two about his idol life. Jongin never really is interested so he lets Kyungsoo speak and tries not to stare so much at his lips when he talks because Kyungsoo is really handsome when he smiles. Slowly, though, he finds himself opening up to Kyungsoo and they become closer. Now, he knows what Kyungsoo's favourite colour is -- "black, like my soul," he'd joke -- and that he likes to cook, apart from singing. Jongin begs for Kyungsoo to let him have a taste of his cooking and Kyungsoo laughs at him, asking am I even allowed to be in the palace kitchen? Jongin shrugs and admits that he has never stepped foot in it so he wouldn't know.

When Kyungsoo leaves a physical copy of his first solo album on his desk, Jongin takes a listen and thinks he has never heard a more beautiful voice. This is when he falls in love.

Maybe, Kyungsoo needs more time than that.

Kyungsoo stumbles into his quarters late one night, drunk, crashing his lips upon Jongin’s and Jongin finds himself kissing back because it’s nice. Kyungsoo's hand on his face is warm and gentle; Jongin feels tingly all over at his touch. And Kyungsoo's lips. He kisses really well, Jongin thinks as he pulls Kyungsoo even closer till they're chest against chest, Kyungsoo's legs wrapped around Jongin's waist.

Not the alcohol or the taste of slightly charred meat that Kyungsoo leaves, Jongin guesses he has been out eating samgyupsal and drinking tons of soju, probably with his members, and he doesn’t want to know how his husband has made his way back without waking the whole palace up but Kyungsoo’s kisses are nice in a way Jongin cannot find words to explain. His lips are soft and moist and Jongin winds an arm around Kyungsoo’s neck and kisses him back again and again.

“I’m not that drunk, you know,” Kyungsoo mumbles against his lips, fingers clumsily unbuttoning Jongin’s pajamas, startling Jongin ever so slightly. “But I don't think I have the balls to kiss you like this when I'm sober. I like kissing you. We should do this again.”

“Same,” Jongin whispers, easily unzipping Kyungsoo’s pants and brushing his hand against his already half-hard cock. Kyungsoo’s breath hitches when Jongin slips his hand further down, his lips never leaving Kyungsoo’s.

“I think I might love you,” Kyungsoo sighs, when they are done. He has an arm thrown against Jongin’s chest as he snuggles closer. Jongin leaves a kiss to the top of his head and feels Kyungsoo smiling against the hollow of his collarbones. “If you can stop acting like you’re so cool.”

“Yeah?” Jongin says but Kyungsoo is already snoring away, softly. He ignores the sinking feeling in his chest at the words, trying not to hurt too much because Jongin knows he has already fallen in love with Kyungsoo.

Out of loneliness or exhaustion or whatever it is, Kyungsoo has been there when his two best friends left. Kyungsoo listens to him and always has a way to bring a smile back to Jongin’s face again when he needs it. For all that it’s worth, Kyungsoo is a pretty dang great person to talk to, always having some genuine advice to offer even though he knows nothing about politics or the mechanics of running a country. It’s a breath of fresh air for Jongin.

Kyungsoo is Jongin’s breath of fresh air.

***

“I don’t know what you did,” Jongin says, storming into Kyungsoo’s quarters, effectively startling the older man who is just lazing about on his bed. Kyungsoo sits up and throws him a questioning look. “But the whole palace has been talking about you.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. He regards Jongin with a disinterested look; Jongin mentally slaps himself as he remembers that Kyungsoo is an idol -- he is used to people talking about him. “What did they say?”

That they think you’re actually untalented and ugly and should quit your idol life because you cannot be a good king consort and an idol at the same time. That they think Kyungsoo is fucking Chanyeol or Luhan or whatever the fuck his members’ names are because Jongin actually still doesn’t know.

“That you should quit being an idol,” is all that comes out of his inner monologue and Jongin pauses to gauge Kyungsoo’s expression.

Kyungsoo hums and continues scrolling down his mobile phone. He has probably heard it a million times before. Jongin lets out a frustrated sigh and walks over to his bed, yanking the device out of Kyungsoo’s hold.

“Give it back,” Kyungsoo hisses. Jongin responses by sitting down and intertwining his fingers with Kyungsoo.

“Don’t you think it’s time?” Jongin says, not relenting. The king has specifically instructed him to have a talk with Kyungsoo about this.

“Why are we suddenly talking about this?” Kyungsoo snaps.

“The palace--”

“Tell me something else I’ve not heard.”

“Look, do you think you can juggle your responsibilities as my king consort and being an idol at the same time?!” Jongin stands up.

“You think I have it easy,” Kyungsoo spits. His eyes are bright with fury as he watches Jongin pace up and down the room. “You think I just open my mouth, sing and then all is set and good.”

“Sooner or later, they will make you quit.”

“To hell with that. I didn’t train for a year before breaking my bones, losing my voice, getting my head bashed by cameras and critics, being stalked and having my life completely out of my control for six fucking years to have all that go down the drain. I want to sing.”

“You sound miserable,” Jongin says but there is no malice in his voice. Kyungsoo’s head snaps up at that, nevertheless, and he inhales sharply through his nostrils. He looks angrier than two seconds ago. “No, listen. If it’s that bad, then quit. Be a good king consort and help me rule South Korea.”

“What about EXO?”

“You can’t be an idol forever, Kyungsoo. Since when did you get so dense? Didn’t it occur to you that you’ll have to quit soon?”

Jongin walks slowly to the bookcase in the room. He has carefully selected the collection of books for Kyungsoo but he knows the other man has never even flipped one open. He lets his fingers brush over the spines of a few before picking out one and handing it to Kyungsoo. It reads Gisaengs and Royalty: The Story of Hwang Soo Jung. Kyungsoo stares at the book, confusion written deep in his knitted eyebrows, his eyes widening, before realisation sets in. He hurls the book to Jongin’s chest. It drops to the floor with a heavy thud; Jongin barely flinches as he dusts his shirt down.

“You are the worst human being I’ve ever met,” Kyungsoo says. “What the hell are you trying to say?”

Jongin smirks. “It’s fine if you don’t want to read that. But let me tell you: Soojung quit her gisaeng life and became one of the most loved women in the entire history of South Korea. There are films and books and dramas made because of her. She’s famous till today.”

“Fame is not what I want.” Kyungsoo isn’t sure where this conversation is going. He doesn’t like the smirk on Jongin’s face - condescending, mocking. Of him. Of his dreams.

“Then, what--”

"Just because your dreams are ruined it doesn't mean mine have to be too." Jongin freezes and this is when Kyungsoo feels the curl of his own lips, cracking against the scowl he has had on earlier. The words are scalding but Kyungsoo feels great. He knows he has struck a nerve. And then, almost immediately, he feels regretful. Jongin has the look of someone who has gotten his dreams crushed over and over again and he has given up. Kyungsoo knows that feeling and his heart softens. “I am going back to my quarters.”

“You’re right,” Jongin whispers. In his mind, he sees shiny plywood and mirrors, fluid movements across rooms in twirls and jumps and French words he promises himself never to utter again because it when can he ever use them. He remembers ballet. He remembers crying into his pillows when he got pulled out of classes because they want to groom his talents elsewhere. At eleven, Jongin already had had his dreams crushed and his chest suddenly feels tight at the memory. He takes in a ragged breath and admits, “They’re ruined. My dreams.” There is a smile on his lips. There are also tears in his eyes. Kyungsoo is startled. “I want to be alone.”

Kyungsoo stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do because this is his quarters and Jongin should be the one leaving. Jongin realises the confusion but he folds his arms and wait. He's the crown prince. Every part of this palace will be his, one day.
"Didn't you hear me?" Jongin calmly asks. "I want to be alone."

It takes a while for Kyungsoo to realise that it is a command. Then, he obeys.

***

The first scandal after the marriage comes with Luhan. Jongin has seen the pretty features and read all about him in interviews. He tells Joonmyun to do a background check and finds that Luhan is as pretty as he comes -- good family and clean, nothing that Jongin should worry about. Except when there are fans trying to pair Kyungsoo and Luhan up, they came up with some dubious hansoo and Jongin remembers crushing his palm together, pretending that it is Luhan’s face.

Kyungsoo laughs.

“Some fans can be crazy. Luhan’s not… he doesn’t. He doesn’t suck dicks.”

“Like you.”

The tip of Kyungsoo’s ears turn pink at that and his gaze towards Jongin is unyielding. “Like us,” he corrects, sharply. He considerably softens when Jongin shoots him an apologetic look, understanding that the words have slipped. He’s not that forgiving, though, when he says, “Of course, I know that you swing both ways.”

“Only towards you,” Jongin counters, smirking when Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “I swing towards you.”

“You sound so stupid,” Kyungsoo is laughing now as he pulls Jongin for a hug. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

The denial is quick but Kyungsoo shuts him up with a kiss and a knowing look. Jongin kisses him back and suddenly feel warm at the thought of Kyungsoo being the best thing that he ever has and has happened to him. He tells Kyungsoo this and watches the beautiful way his head falls back as he laughs and so he leans in and leaves a kiss to Kyungsoo's nose.

“I love you,” Kyungsoo says and this is when Jongin feels his heart stop.

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo close and presses his lips to the top of his head. He doesn’t know if he has uttered a word or not but Kyungsoo mumbles a ‘me, too, I love you’ and Jongin smiles.

****

The news with Chanyeol comes off as a complete surprise because Jongin remembers Kyungsoo mentioning that he is not on good terms with the main rapper. He has never asked why but this seems like a good time to start. What is even more surprising is, however, Kyungsoo being the one who initiates the conversation.

“I was at Chanyeol’s apartment last weekend,” he says slowly. “But Sehun and Luhan were there, too. Fucking press happily miss that part out and that’s how this happened.”

“I thought you said you had filming till late?”

“We did and then it got cancelled so Chanyeol invited us over. I didn’t want to come but…”

Jongin understands. It is rare for Kyungsoo to get free time so obviously he doesn’t want to pass up a good chance like this. Even on his free days, Kyungsoo has to attend to his consort duties; learning of palace rules, language, etiquette lessons, history on top of all the volunteering and charity work that has been planned for him. Of course Kyungsoo agrees to go to Chanyeol’s place.

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo replies, putting his hands out. “We drank, hung about. Chanyeol cooked us some ramyun and we sat around his table to eat and talk shit about other idols.”

“But, what’s the deal with Chanyeol?”
For all of the anger that’s threatening to erupt, his voice comes out velvety smooth as he watches Kyungsoo sit down at the edge of his bed, rubbing at his aching shoulder. Kyungsoo’s exhausted, Jongin knows, and he’s sorry for barging onto him like this but he’s not sorry enough. He still wants to know. “Chansoo? You guys have a name now?”

“It’s just something… Look, the fans just make that name up in lieu of our interactions but it’s nothing like that. Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo replies, before pausing to let out a soft yawn. “And I are not on speaking terms.”

“Why?”

“Just because. You know, you really don’t have to have reasons for everything. And you’re asking me too many questions at three in the morning.”

“But--”

“Are you jealous, because we have talked about this Jongin,” Kyungsoo snaps, standing up. “Contrary to what the fucking media says, I am not fucking any of my members.” There is hurt in his voice because Jongin hears the slight quiver and he knows it’s not just the fatigue.

Jongin wants to apologise, he wants to say something like he’s sorry for being jealous and insecure but Kyungsoo angrily walks away and Jongin feels the lump at the back of his throat and swallows all of that down, silently vowing to not bring up the topic again.

***

Jongin attends Exo’s last world concert tour as a VIP.

There are two rows of bodyguards from where he is sitting, despite his protests. But he isn’t really concerned about that, being more excited on watching Kyungsoo perform live. There are tons of screaming, Jongin awkwardly waving a fan with Kyungsoo’s face on it as Wolf starts to play.

The lights dim. More screaming. Jongin rubs at his ears and rolls his eyes at no one in particular as fans around him stand up to cheer. Drumming can be heard now. And then, EXO appears.

Jongin breathes and for the first time that night, he feels his lips quirk up into a smile at the sight of his husband on stage.

And the concert… begins.

When it comes to Kyungsoo’s solo, Jongin finds himself sitting on the edge of his seat. The fans start to cheer for Kyungsoo and Jongin does the same, softly whispering his name till Kyungsoo appears.

Only when Kyungsoo starts to sing, does Jongin lean back into his seat and smiles.

note: this is an edited version from my kaisoommer entry! Thank you, Grace, once again, for your prompts! <3 Hope you guys enjoy reading this, thank you!!

fanfiction: kaisoommer, pairing: jongin/kyungsoo

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