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[ceris]

Ugh, had a bit of a crap day today. Went for counselling cos of my 'issues'. Given the nature of the NHS and my financial situation, i.e. I can't afford private therapy, I've had to wait since May for an appointment. Anyway, this is how it went (behind cut for those who don't want to read about my emotional fuckuppery.

Comments

[oohlaphlegm]

I have been waiting since January for an appointment. I was told the waiting list was 6 months but when I phoned again in July to find out when my appointment was due, they said it could be up to a YEAR to get seen!!! It's ridiculous, and at £30 per session I can't afford to go private either. :( It's about time mental health was taken more seriously. I decided to take control of the situation myself by reading lots of self-help books and doing the exercises. So far it is working, but I'm too scared to try to come off the Seroxat until I've been seen by a counsellor. (My problem is anxiety attacks and agoraphobia, which can lead to depression too. I've had it on/off for about 7 years, but the relapse this time was due to the break up with my boyfriend).
Sorry to rant. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in your situation. I'm glad you got your appointment and that the counselling was productive. I went to counselling about 5 years ago (I think I only went 4 times) and I did not find it useful, but I think that's due to the woman I got. She was very unresponsive to anything I said, and at the time I was looking for a quick fix. Now I know it doesn't work like that.
I, too, put WAY too much pressure on myself. It's a rare art, having a 'who gives a fuck' attitude and still achieving something in life. I can only assume that like any other illnesses, we will eventually be cured.

Till then: chin up, doll! *hugs*

[ceris]

Please, feel free to rant! I think it's awful, the way mental health is still so sidelined, when there are so many people suffering. I've noticed this since teaching creative writing; so many of my students have problems and one, who was schizophrenic, actually committed suicide last year. Really really sad; only 21. I also think it's bad, how counselling is so difficult to come by on the NHS; we need more trained counsellors. Self help books are useful - one on depression has helped me immensely and is a lifelife - but not as useful as having dialogue with a professional.

I understand completely about being afraid to come off meds. I've been on SSRI's since my marriage ended 3 years ago, but I'm trying to come off them now. I'm fed-up of being medicated; I just want to feel 'normal' again, whatever that is.

Yeah, it's hard being someone who gives a fuck, and hard being someone who puts so much pressure on themselves. I just put it down to being a creative perfectionist! But you know, I wouldn't change who I am, despite all that. If someone said to me - I can cure you but you wouldn't have your creativity anymoore, I'd say, no thanks. So yeah, it's not all bad :-)

[oohlaphlegm]

one, who was schizophrenic, actually committed suicide last year :((((((((( That is awful! Thank God, I've never felt that low. Touch wood.