(no subject)
I have been horribly remiss in pretty much anything LJ wise at the moment, and I do kind of miss it. I'm not reading any fics, writing any fics or even reading my flist. All this because of my stupid mood swings and the return to anti depressant drugs, which means I have trouble concentrating on anything much for too long.
However, I think things are getting better for me. I now have seven hours' teaching per week, complete responsibility for two modules, which I am also expected to devise myself (scary fairy!), plus I will have to do the marking! Red pen, what do you reckon? Heh heh. The power!
I am kind of worried that I won't be good enough. I mean, sometimes I think: yeah, I can really do this. I mean, I know my stuff really well as a writing practitioner, but I do not consider myself to be a critical theorist in any way, shape or form. In fact, I loathe critical theory! I have pointed out this to my tutor, who hired me, but he just says, "I know and that's ok, I want you there as a practioner not a theorist."
I suppose I should just take his word for it and do what I do best - talk about writing - but there's still this little bit of me that lacks self confidence. I'm going to have to find it bloody quick!
I am annoyed with myself too that I'm not writing (except for devising evil plans for my future students), and I miss it, but the muse seems have gone on holiday for a little while. I shall be glad when she returns, because I have loads of ideas, but not the inclination.
However, like the Terminator, I will be back (I hope) in full running order soon.
However, I think things are getting better for me. I now have seven hours' teaching per week, complete responsibility for two modules, which I am also expected to devise myself (scary fairy!), plus I will have to do the marking! Red pen, what do you reckon? Heh heh. The power!
I am kind of worried that I won't be good enough. I mean, sometimes I think: yeah, I can really do this. I mean, I know my stuff really well as a writing practitioner, but I do not consider myself to be a critical theorist in any way, shape or form. In fact, I loathe critical theory! I have pointed out this to my tutor, who hired me, but he just says, "I know and that's ok, I want you there as a practioner not a theorist."
I suppose I should just take his word for it and do what I do best - talk about writing - but there's still this little bit of me that lacks self confidence. I'm going to have to find it bloody quick!
I am annoyed with myself too that I'm not writing (except for devising evil plans for my future students), and I miss it, but the muse seems have gone on holiday for a little while. I shall be glad when she returns, because I have loads of ideas, but not the inclination.
However, like the Terminator, I will be back (I hope) in full running order soon.