You come back in contact with an old friend, but there were plenty of hurt feelings and unresolved issues when you lost contact in the first place--do you bring it up and sort it out, or let it lie?
Your best bet is to avoid that friend completely. While it can at times lead to the rediscovery of an old friendship, people have an amazing ability to maintain grudges. I've been burned pretty bad by opening my heart to someone in this situation, and I certainly won't ever go down that road again. The worst part is that a person can seem perfectly genuine, but the moment something comes up that reminds them of that past hurt, you might find yourself in a world of trouble.
In my opinion, if a friendship was left in poor shape, then it's time to find a new friendship. There's billions of people in the world. Why limit your scope to the dangerous ones?
As you can probably guess, I'm an advocate for change. Holding onto old stuff is kind of a tricky question. If there's value in reminissing, then sure, it may be nice to keep some of it around. I keep a small box of memories for that reason, but I'm far from a pack rat. So that's something you really have to decide for yourself, by weighing personal value against available space. It's easy for me, but I'm not terribly sentimental, and I change easily. So I'm not exactly a typical example. :)
Heh. Sounds halfway like people shouldn't try bein' friends with me! I was the one who got hurt, I'm the one bringin' it up. Hopefully not maintaining a grudge, just feel like a kid who's been kicked and is trying to understand what happened. But years after the fact, admittedly . . . so let it go? Leave 'em alone altogether if I can't? I wish there was more middleground in life . . . suppose waitin' another few months or years won't hurt.
Also I guess I'm attached to the status quo? Or to maintaining friendships? I tell my gf to just hold on to the good stuff, but even friendships with problems aren't supposed to be disposeable, are they? Or are they? Mehr.
I definitely have too much crap. Books I've never read--that I've owned for decades. And on and on.
I think problematic friendships are perfectly disposable. If you feel its worth it to give it a shot, then by all means. But I certainly would not advise it, unless you're either hurting for friends, or simply unsatisfied with leaving things as they are.
There's nothing wrong with being attached to maintaining friendships. That's perfectly normal. I don't know if I'd call it perfectly wise, but that's really a matter of perespective.
Your best bet is to avoid that friend completely. While it can at times lead to the rediscovery of an old friendship, people have an amazing ability to maintain grudges. I've been burned pretty bad by opening my heart to someone in this situation, and I certainly won't ever go down that road again. The worst part is that a person can seem perfectly genuine, but the moment something comes up that reminds them of that past hurt, you might find yourself in a world of trouble.
In my opinion, if a friendship was left in poor shape, then it's time to find a new friendship. There's billions of people in the world. Why limit your scope to the dangerous ones?
As you can probably guess, I'm an advocate for change. Holding onto old stuff is kind of a tricky question. If there's value in reminissing, then sure, it may be nice to keep some of it around. I keep a small box of memories for that reason, but I'm far from a pack rat. So that's something you really have to decide for yourself, by weighing personal value against available space. It's easy for me, but I'm not terribly sentimental, and I change easily. So I'm not exactly a typical example. :)
Reply
Also I guess I'm attached to the status quo? Or to maintaining friendships? I tell my gf to just hold on to the good stuff, but even friendships with problems aren't supposed to be disposeable, are they? Or are they? Mehr.
I definitely have too much crap. Books I've never read--that I've owned for decades. And on and on.
Reply
There's nothing wrong with being attached to maintaining friendships. That's perfectly normal. I don't know if I'd call it perfectly wise, but that's really a matter of perespective.
Reply
Leave a comment