(no subject)
Ok, so when I was writing in here last week, I was sad, obviously. But now I'm not so much. You see I was talking to Mareshah the other day and told her I was over it, and she was asking how am I able to get over someone I care about that much so quickly. Ive always been that way though, ive always been able to bounce back quickly. But it got me thinking. You see, I think the reason all the feelings I ever had for corey c. came back was because he was leaving. I dont think I realized till the other day that the reason I was so sad wasn't as much that I loved him ( I mean don't get me wrong I do but not in the way I was thinking I did at the time) but more so as he has been apart of my life for almost 2 and a half years now and regardless of going out and breaking up, he's been my friend for that long, I just didn't want to give up the closeness of our friendship, because to have someone be a part of your life (for better or for worse at times) for that long, you don't want them to move and maybe lose touch, ending up writing each other out of their lives. The fact is I just dont want to lose a friend who has made such an impact on my life. See.. I thought that if we got back together it would be the same as it was before but I realized it won't ever be the same. I fell in love with a boy 2 years ago. And the boy from 2 years ago is different from who he is today. He's changed and so have I. I believe your first love will always have a piece of your heart, even if you've grown apart or you're both just in different directions with your life. You will always keep them with you in your heart because it was your first love. I mean actually being in love with someone for the first time, teaches you so much about yourself, and that you can love and care about someone else so much more than you do yourself, its amazing. But in the end when it all comes down, you just have to be thankful that it happened and move on. I mean who's to say me and corey c, wont end up together in the end, and if that should happen then thats fine, and if not then its not meant to be and thats fine too. I mean why look for Mr. Right, when you could be with or find Mr. Right Now, and you know eventually down the road the "Now" part could drop and Mr. Right Now could turn out to be your Mr. Right. But all I know is that I'm not waiting anymore for him, im tired of waiting, so im just gonna go with it and date. So this is to you corey and to always loving you but finally to moving on with my life and getting over you.