i never know what to post on these blogs..
i never know what to post in these blogs..im bad at expressing myself..i tend to keep how i feel bottled up when things bother me..and i cant sum my life up in a few words..even as i sit here i cant think of a thing to say when so much is on my mind...maybe im worried what ppl will think when they hear what i have to say or maybe im the one worried to actually see whats on my mind written down right in front of me..maybe its both...while others seem to be able to write their whole life down on these things, mine would be far to complicated to even know where to begin..definately not to say my life has been more exciting or depressing than others cuz im sure other ppl have had far more exciting or far more depressing things take place in their lives than me..i dont know how to sum myself up..im just me...i tend to make mistakes quite a bit..but i dont regret anything because simply life is too short..i tend to trust ppl easily which means getting hurt..and i dont hold grudges because i dont see the point..nothing can be that bad as to where you cannot forgive someone...like everyone i prefer having friends over enemies..though i have a few enemies, its usually because ppl tend to judge me before they get to know me..if i dont like someone im not gonna pretend i do when i see them.. i hate gossip..if i have a problem with you i will tell you to your face rather than talking crap behind your back...if my friends are sad i try my best to listen, understand and talk them through it..and sometimes words arent enough..so im always here for a shoulder to cry on..chances are ill probably cry with you..at movies i tend to laugh out loud if i think something is funny, i cover my eyes with my hands and peek through on scary parts, i tend to cry if the movie is sad enough and i always root for the underdog in movies..im not musically gifted and probably never will be..i love to smile and laugh..i tend to keep a smile on my face even when im sad or upset because once things get bad they are bound to get better..i try to make other ppl happy over myself..i can be selfish...i can by stingy...i prefer showers over baths.. iam obsessed with smelling good..id prefer buying good smelling lotions and perfums than a cd...i love dating shows..they make me laugh..and yes if i like a movie alot i will watch it over and over until i can quote it..i dont care if ppl dont like me..i have more guy friends than girls..i get along with guys better and in the past some girls tend to not like me because theyve thought i was trying to steal their boyfriends, which i wasnt..ppl have talked crap about me, but i never usually care because its just talk and it doesnt effect me and im not the type of person to let something like that stop me from doing my own thing..i try not to be that judgmental but sometimes i cant help myself..i love to sing and dance even though i doubt im good at it..im not a perfectionist, never will be..do i smoke? i have but havent in awhile..its not something that really interests me..do i drink? yes, but not alot at all..i like the feeling when i have a crush on a boy and get butterflies in my stomach.. its an even better when the boy your crushing on has a crush on you back.. dating wise, im the type of girl that you can bring home to mom, i can be one of the guys when hanging out with their friends, and can be really intimate behind closed doors...my best friend is my mom, though we argue quite a bit..i have alot of friends but only few that i would die for..what do i look for in a friend?anyone that is true to themselves and ppl i can have fun with.. come on who wants to hangout with someone who always complains and trys to bring you down...im easy to get along with if you accept me for me.. i dont like ppl who try to change me..im happy with who iam..thats something not everyone can say..sure ive been depressed, ive been so depressed where i thought tomorrow wouldnt come..but who hasnt had that feeling at least once..and if you havent id love to meet you and see for myself..i can be a good girlfriend...but you gotta keep me interested because i tend to get bored easily..when it comes down to it, if you want me to fall for you, youve gotta give me something worth tripping over...i tend to be very bubbly and outgoing and sometimes ppl mistake that for being dumb..im not dumb...i love to go on little kid rides or play in the play area at fast food places its fun..even if ppl think its stupid..i usually dont dress appropriate..i prefer skirts over pants...if you dont like how i dress dont look, its that easy..my skirts are always short..i dont like long skirts for the reason they dont look good on me..i like causing controversy..id rather have a big suv than a little sports car..and yes im the type to carry my teacup chihuahua around in my purse..elle woods..paris hilton...say whatever you want..i do it because i choose to..when i get answers right in a class in school i tend to get excited..do a little dance..if that makes me a dork then so be it..have i lied to a friend before? yes..im not proud of it but its happened, i dont dwell on it..ive done self destructive things in the past when i was depressed..its nothing to brag about but nothing to feel ashamed about..ive grown from all my past experiences and know hurting yourself isnt a good answer to your problems..nothing is that bad..and if it is then lets talk..i will try and help you in any way i can..i cant be the only one who's learned...i dont get offended easily..ive lost friends over the years over dumb reasons but if i wouldnt of lost some then i wouldnt of gained others..im very open minded, ill more in likely try anything once, for the experience...im very opinionated, argue with me about beliefs and you might as well sit back and relax because we'll be on that subject for awhile..do i believe in heaven and hell?..yes and ive done alot of things in my life so far that i could question where im going...yes i want to go to heaven and i try and pray every night to be forgiven for my sins..the thing that tends to get me in trouble is that no matter how someone tells me how i should live my life, in the end im gonna live my life the way i want..you make rules..their bound to get broken...take this just for what it is..