When I was 14, a friend and I took acid, not realizing the SSRIs we were on would magnify the effect. So we took more. Even though we were relatively experienced drug users, we took far, far more than we should have, and pretty much lost our sense, our brains, and our ability to protect ourselves
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It matters to me that they were black because the societal expectation is that black men are much more dangerous to women than white men. There's this whole racist stereotype of black men as beasts with uncontrollable lusts - and black athletes particularly are portrayed that way in the media - and so I think it's especially important to counter that stereotype whenever I can. If that's not what I accomplished here, or if I offended you, I apologize.
(And I'm white. My friend in this story is black.)
i understood the reason that you identified the two young men in the story as 'big black guys', but the way it was worded does make one double take at first. it becomes very clear, however, that your story isn't perpetuating that myth you mention so much as debunking it.
That's how I took it, to be honest. Despite absurdly liberal beliefs, there is the atavistic reaction of "EEK! Scary black men". Instantly shaming, instantly discounted (if one is a decent human being), but it's still there.
You know, I know that there are black predators, white predators, hispanic and asian and every other race predators, but it's sort of funny to me that this ridiculous societal expectation is still so prevalent, because I'm actually much LESS likely to feel unsafe around black guys than I am white guys (I'm a short white girl), because on the whole, the black guys I've met have been the most polite and gentlemanly men I've ever met.
I know that obviously there are some rotten apples in the barrel, but I'm talking every black man I've ever met, with one adolescent exception. My experience has always been that they've been more concerned about my safety/wellbeing, and that they are much less likely to have their hands all over me than the white guys in their same group of friends. And this wasn't just around the pretty little white girl, I've seen it be just as true with women of colour that I've known. So kudos to some moms and dads of colour out there, because you're clearly doing something right where some of the more racially
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I wonder if this may be, partly, an effect of mutliple power imbalances in our society: men have power over women, but white people have power over black people. Perhaps that racial dynamic can cancel out some of the sense of entitlement? That is, you're actually in a position of privilege, in part, when you're with black men. I really don't know, but it came to mind.
Always a possibility, but there's also the fact that some of these same guys were just as considerate to the black girls they knew as well, even when white people weren't around (I was friends with a couple of those girls). So I think that in theory on a general scale, the cancelling each other out is probably true, but sometimes good guys are just good guys, and that makes me happy.
When I first read this post, I thought, "Okay, but isn't turning Not Raping into something notable like giving a guy a cookie for not being a dickhead?" But after reading a couple stories like this, I get it. I want to know that this does happen. In real life. Because all we ever hear about is the bad stuff, and there aren't stories like this to balance it out, to say, "Sometimes it can go like this, you know? Try to remember how THIS story turned out instead of all the ones in the news." It's a narrative to aspire to.
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Not trying to snark the actual meat of the story, but as a WOC, this really throws me that their race is identified and yours isn't.
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(And I'm white. My friend in this story is black.)
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thanks for sharing your story.
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I know that obviously there are some rotten apples in the barrel, but I'm talking every black man I've ever met, with one adolescent exception. My experience has always been that they've been more concerned about my safety/wellbeing, and that they are much less likely to have their hands all over me than the white guys in their same group of friends. And this wasn't just around the pretty little white girl, I've seen it be just as true with women of colour that I've known. So kudos to some moms and dads of colour out there, because you're clearly doing something right where some of the more racially ( ... )
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When I first read this post, I thought, "Okay, but isn't turning Not Raping into something notable like giving a guy a cookie for not being a dickhead?" But after reading a couple stories like this, I get it. I want to know that this does happen. In real life. Because all we ever hear about is the bad stuff, and there aren't stories like this to balance it out, to say, "Sometimes it can go like this, you know? Try to remember how THIS story turned out instead of all the ones in the news." It's a narrative to aspire to.
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