The Intimacy that Frightens
Bella sat on the stairs at the back of the mansion. Her eyes on the dirt in front of her were out of focus as if she were concentrating on something far off in the distance, below the surface of the ground. The panic was building up in her chest, making her doubt her life, her love, her marriage. She knew they were too young to decide this. Why did she jump into such a relationship so quickly?
Edward was human now, and everything was wonderful, or so it should be… But the fact that Jacob had imprinted on her husband made it all turn to shit. She was now the third wheel to a relationship she could not understand. How far could this go? Would Edward and Jacob develop a physically intimate bond that was more than just the mental one they had now? Bella hated the possibilities that appeared in her mind.
The fear that pounded in her chest and made her adrenaline race to her head absorbed her entire being until that was all that was left. This was exactly what her mother had done; only, minus some slight complicated details. Bella had given herself away, completely, to a man that she no longer felt like she could completely trust. It wasn’t his fault. When it came down to it, the fault was Jacob’s.
Feeling the tears about to start in the corners of her eyes, Bella brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She was bound to never be happy; that was it, plain and simple. It was as she feared. Why would someone so beautiful want to spend the rest of his life with her? She wasn’t worth his time. Absentmindedly, she played with the wedding ring that she wore.
She wasn’t worth his money either. And so, she slid the ring off and set it on the stair like it had offended her.
“It’s not like I’m guiltless,” she said to herself, a tear falling down her cheek, “I can’t hardly blame him, but it… it hurts.”
(Typist: Tags to anyone willing to tackle this mess of a girl.)