Breaking down the Wonderwall...
A tangled web we weave.
I've spun myself around in the games of gay life so much I don't even remember what I'm playing anymore. Not too mention why.
Speaking of why -
Why are we SO rude to each other.
When did that become a trademark of being a fun successful gay guy?
And more importantly, when along the line of life did I learn, acquire, and hone this skill of masking how much I enjoy your company with words dripping with sharp sarcasm and a dry naming of all your faults?
What happened to the days when to show your affection you gave a hug or a smile? Or waved? Or asked someone out on a date? Or god forbid COMPLIMENTED someone?
Regardless of the type of relationship - Friends, Family, Lovers, Girlfriends...Dames... Shouldn't every relationship that you value in your life be a positive one? And when did it become "normal" to show someone you value them by putting them down or giving them the cold shoulder?
Why do we have to play games when we feel for each other? Why do we have to look at each other as jigsaw puzzles were each piece is how you react to the various things i say and do. Why can't we just simply say "I like you." and call it a day? Why can't I just ask you out on a date instead of treating you like shit in order to make you interested in me?
When did I turn into this bitter vicious shell of my former self? And why has it taken so long for me to realize what I've become?
When did we as a society become so backwards?
I guess I don't have any answers for you, or myself.
All I really know is that I can't do it anymore. I can't play games to get what I want anymore. Its so unsatisfying. Putting on a facade to gain the object of your affections only leads to long days of games and short relationships in which you realize you didn't fall for the person but really for the outer shell that they wanted you to see.
Everything has become such a complicated mess when really it should all be so simple.
I don't wanna be mean anymore. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of this giant facade I've made for myself.
No. The one that we've made for each other.
I don't want to play the sarcasm game. I don't want to pretend I don't like you when I really do. When really every rude thing I say to you is masking how much I adore you. When really I'm just too afraid to actually be myself and let myself love you without limits or inhibitions. When really I'm so afraid of being rejected or hurt that I place up this bitchy witty wall to protect my vulnerable heart.
Why do we do that?! Its okay to be vulnerable! Its okay to tell me how you feel. Its okay to be positive to one another. Whats the worst that could even happen? maybe the tiny risk of hearing "I don't like you back." SO WHAT? there are billions of people on the earth. And who's to say that just because we aren't compatible lovers that means we really wouldn't be amazing friends?
Who's to say...But us?
Can't we stop being afraid, get over our inhibitions and make the effort to get to know each other?
I hope so.
And so ends another rant.
Love.
I've spun myself around in the games of gay life so much I don't even remember what I'm playing anymore. Not too mention why.
Speaking of why -
Why are we SO rude to each other.
When did that become a trademark of being a fun successful gay guy?
And more importantly, when along the line of life did I learn, acquire, and hone this skill of masking how much I enjoy your company with words dripping with sharp sarcasm and a dry naming of all your faults?
What happened to the days when to show your affection you gave a hug or a smile? Or waved? Or asked someone out on a date? Or god forbid COMPLIMENTED someone?
Regardless of the type of relationship - Friends, Family, Lovers, Girlfriends...Dames... Shouldn't every relationship that you value in your life be a positive one? And when did it become "normal" to show someone you value them by putting them down or giving them the cold shoulder?
Why do we have to play games when we feel for each other? Why do we have to look at each other as jigsaw puzzles were each piece is how you react to the various things i say and do. Why can't we just simply say "I like you." and call it a day? Why can't I just ask you out on a date instead of treating you like shit in order to make you interested in me?
When did I turn into this bitter vicious shell of my former self? And why has it taken so long for me to realize what I've become?
When did we as a society become so backwards?
I guess I don't have any answers for you, or myself.
All I really know is that I can't do it anymore. I can't play games to get what I want anymore. Its so unsatisfying. Putting on a facade to gain the object of your affections only leads to long days of games and short relationships in which you realize you didn't fall for the person but really for the outer shell that they wanted you to see.
Everything has become such a complicated mess when really it should all be so simple.
I don't wanna be mean anymore. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of this giant facade I've made for myself.
No. The one that we've made for each other.
I don't want to play the sarcasm game. I don't want to pretend I don't like you when I really do. When really every rude thing I say to you is masking how much I adore you. When really I'm just too afraid to actually be myself and let myself love you without limits or inhibitions. When really I'm so afraid of being rejected or hurt that I place up this bitchy witty wall to protect my vulnerable heart.
Why do we do that?! Its okay to be vulnerable! Its okay to tell me how you feel. Its okay to be positive to one another. Whats the worst that could even happen? maybe the tiny risk of hearing "I don't like you back." SO WHAT? there are billions of people on the earth. And who's to say that just because we aren't compatible lovers that means we really wouldn't be amazing friends?
Who's to say...But us?
Can't we stop being afraid, get over our inhibitions and make the effort to get to know each other?
I hope so.
And so ends another rant.
Love.