Death
There was a time where death bothered me. I can remember as a small child sitting in the living room of my grandparents home up on Tradewind Dr., just thinking about death, thinking about the possible nothingness that comes afterward, and the thought scared me. I think I may have neared a panic attack of some sort, and I'm not sure whether these are normal things for a child to think about or if they are just incredibly morbid things for a child to ponder. Over my life I've thought about death from time to time, and it seems to me now that it was always with a sense of worry. Or dread. Part of it may have been due to parts of my psyche still clinging to Christian concepts of the afterlife. Part of it may have been that thought of nothingness, an idea (to suddenly stop existing) which felt so wrong.
Talking with Nuri a while back, I can remember worrying about dying, and where I might wind up since having gone down this religious path. And what she said makes sense. That life is for the living, and that this life is what's important, because at least we know we're alive. I seem to have taken it to heart. I can remember talking with Kyra about similar things, and espousing much the same idea. And there was no worry, no concern over where I might end up.
It is a different sort of calm, something I've only realized is there recently. And I can think about my death without too much fear or apprehension, at least in thought, as it may be a long ways off.
I do know one thing, though. I do not wish to die in a bed, or in a house or any building. If I know my time is coming soon, I want grass under my feet, and the open sky above. If I'm too weak to walk, then at the very least I wish to die under the shade of a tree.
After that, I'm unsure. The idea of a funeral pyre comes to mind, but I can't imagine the hassle that would create when dealing with the local authorities for the approval to do such. Nor whether or not it would be in-line with what the ancients did.
Talking with Nuri a while back, I can remember worrying about dying, and where I might wind up since having gone down this religious path. And what she said makes sense. That life is for the living, and that this life is what's important, because at least we know we're alive. I seem to have taken it to heart. I can remember talking with Kyra about similar things, and espousing much the same idea. And there was no worry, no concern over where I might end up.
It is a different sort of calm, something I've only realized is there recently. And I can think about my death without too much fear or apprehension, at least in thought, as it may be a long ways off.
I do know one thing, though. I do not wish to die in a bed, or in a house or any building. If I know my time is coming soon, I want grass under my feet, and the open sky above. If I'm too weak to walk, then at the very least I wish to die under the shade of a tree.
After that, I'm unsure. The idea of a funeral pyre comes to mind, but I can't imagine the hassle that would create when dealing with the local authorities for the approval to do such. Nor whether or not it would be in-line with what the ancients did.