one year
it's been one year to this day. it's hard to think that it's been so long; it feels like yesterday. i can remember the events like it was yesterday:
i'm back in the dorm after thanksgiving break. i find myself constantly thirsty. i think nothing of it, and i tell myself "maybe it's because of the dry air." i am going through at least two Brita pitchers of water every day. i fill up my coffee mug with water, and then finish the entire thing, and i'm still thirsty. i also find myself having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, literally that much. again, i don't really think much of it, and i attribute my constant need to use the bathroom to the amount of water i've been drinking.
finally, it's december break. i come home, and my parents see me drinking an insane amount of water and urinating every 10 minutes or so, and immediately my mom asks me if i'm ok. i tell her what's been going on, and then she recommends i see a doctor. she calls an endocrinologist who is an old friend of the family, and tells me that we are going to go see him on the 23rd. she says i have the symptoms of type 1 diabetes, but i just brush off her comment, not wanting to think the worst.
finally, the day comes. i am extremely nervous going into the doctor's office. we sit down with him, and he starts asking me a bunch of questions. after i am done answering them, he writes some stuff down for a minute, then tells me that my mom was correct: i officially have type 1 diabetes. he then starts telling me all this other stuff, but all i can do is tear up and think to myself "why me? what did i do to deserve this?" he takes me into another room where a nurse is, and she starts telling me all this stuff about testing your blood sugar and how to give myself insulin shots. i test my blood sugar, and it is above 600 mg/dl. the normal blood sugar is about 90-120 mg/dl. she told me that i was diagnosed early, and that if i had waited, the effects of untreated diabetes could have been a lot worse. so here i am in the office taking in everything the nurse is telling me to do. we go home, and i run into my room, shut the door, and just start crying my eyes out. again, i start asking the question of "why me? i'm in excellent shape, i eat healthy, nothing is wrong with me, so why me?"
the next 6 months are the toughest of my life. i have strict limits on what i can do. get up by 10am, every day. no later. eat 3 main meals a day, and eat a snack in between those meals. i have a certain number of carbohydrates i can eat for every meal/snack, and certain types of food which i have to eat. in addition to all of this, i have to deal with it at college. no more staying up late, because i would pay for it when the alarm clock went off at 10:00am every day. no more sleeping in. no more eating whenever i feel like eating. i didn't even feel like my old self, i felt like a completely different person. sometimes i would get so frustrated that i would have to find stuff to punch, whether it be my bed, or a piece of wood. worst of all, nobody knew how i was feeling. i felt like i was the only person left on earth. once school ended, my life got a whole lot better.
i had been talking with my parents about switching from insulin shots to an insulin pump. the pump is about the size of a beeper, and it has a tube that connects to a device which is attached to your stomach, called an infusion set. i really wanted to start using this. after deciding on some numbers with a nurse, you put those numbers into the pump, and then you tell it what your blood sugar is, and how many carbohydrates you are eating, and depending on what those numbers are, it will give you the amount of insulin needed to cover that meal. best of all, i could sleep as late as i wanted! right after i came home from school, we made an appointment for a nurse to come over to my house to train me on how to use the pump. i started using it the same day the nurse came and trained me, and ive been using it ever since. i feel more like my old self now. i can choose when to eat, and how later to sleep. i don't have to give myself shots any more, but i do have to change the infusion set every 3 days, which isnt a big deal. i still get depressed and angry from time to time, but if you had a disease that you had to live with for the rest of your life, wouldnt you?
so that's it. that's how it all started. hopefully those of you who read this will now understand why i get sad sometimes. comment if you want, i don't care. just hope you're having a better day than me.
i'm back in the dorm after thanksgiving break. i find myself constantly thirsty. i think nothing of it, and i tell myself "maybe it's because of the dry air." i am going through at least two Brita pitchers of water every day. i fill up my coffee mug with water, and then finish the entire thing, and i'm still thirsty. i also find myself having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, literally that much. again, i don't really think much of it, and i attribute my constant need to use the bathroom to the amount of water i've been drinking.
finally, it's december break. i come home, and my parents see me drinking an insane amount of water and urinating every 10 minutes or so, and immediately my mom asks me if i'm ok. i tell her what's been going on, and then she recommends i see a doctor. she calls an endocrinologist who is an old friend of the family, and tells me that we are going to go see him on the 23rd. she says i have the symptoms of type 1 diabetes, but i just brush off her comment, not wanting to think the worst.
finally, the day comes. i am extremely nervous going into the doctor's office. we sit down with him, and he starts asking me a bunch of questions. after i am done answering them, he writes some stuff down for a minute, then tells me that my mom was correct: i officially have type 1 diabetes. he then starts telling me all this other stuff, but all i can do is tear up and think to myself "why me? what did i do to deserve this?" he takes me into another room where a nurse is, and she starts telling me all this stuff about testing your blood sugar and how to give myself insulin shots. i test my blood sugar, and it is above 600 mg/dl. the normal blood sugar is about 90-120 mg/dl. she told me that i was diagnosed early, and that if i had waited, the effects of untreated diabetes could have been a lot worse. so here i am in the office taking in everything the nurse is telling me to do. we go home, and i run into my room, shut the door, and just start crying my eyes out. again, i start asking the question of "why me? i'm in excellent shape, i eat healthy, nothing is wrong with me, so why me?"
the next 6 months are the toughest of my life. i have strict limits on what i can do. get up by 10am, every day. no later. eat 3 main meals a day, and eat a snack in between those meals. i have a certain number of carbohydrates i can eat for every meal/snack, and certain types of food which i have to eat. in addition to all of this, i have to deal with it at college. no more staying up late, because i would pay for it when the alarm clock went off at 10:00am every day. no more sleeping in. no more eating whenever i feel like eating. i didn't even feel like my old self, i felt like a completely different person. sometimes i would get so frustrated that i would have to find stuff to punch, whether it be my bed, or a piece of wood. worst of all, nobody knew how i was feeling. i felt like i was the only person left on earth. once school ended, my life got a whole lot better.
i had been talking with my parents about switching from insulin shots to an insulin pump. the pump is about the size of a beeper, and it has a tube that connects to a device which is attached to your stomach, called an infusion set. i really wanted to start using this. after deciding on some numbers with a nurse, you put those numbers into the pump, and then you tell it what your blood sugar is, and how many carbohydrates you are eating, and depending on what those numbers are, it will give you the amount of insulin needed to cover that meal. best of all, i could sleep as late as i wanted! right after i came home from school, we made an appointment for a nurse to come over to my house to train me on how to use the pump. i started using it the same day the nurse came and trained me, and ive been using it ever since. i feel more like my old self now. i can choose when to eat, and how later to sleep. i don't have to give myself shots any more, but i do have to change the infusion set every 3 days, which isnt a big deal. i still get depressed and angry from time to time, but if you had a disease that you had to live with for the rest of your life, wouldnt you?
so that's it. that's how it all started. hopefully those of you who read this will now understand why i get sad sometimes. comment if you want, i don't care. just hope you're having a better day than me.