Pain
I was becoming content with the idea that things just wouldn't resolve and I could just let them go. Then Kristina had to come along and fill in the missing pieces. Now I'm back to thinking about it all the time. The pain in my chest is back. The desire to stay in bed all day is back. The lack of motivation is back. I was getting used to dreaming about it every night: dreams can always be ignored/forgotten. Damnit: it just never seems like the right time to think about it/deal with it. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to deal with anything. Can I just be done and be a hermit?