Averted heart attack

[centeruniverse]

I just spent about half an hour looking for the tickets for my sister's and my trip to Denmark during Spring Break. I was convinced I'd somehow managed to recycle them, and that I'd need to spend another $1,400 to get replacements

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[centeruniverse]

I'm actually kind of done with ranting. (Okay, so if someone prompts me, I'll probably start ranting again, but I don't have any drive to do so on my own) More than anything, I just kind of...regret the whole situation, if that makes sense? I keep thinking that, at a different time or under different conditions, things might have worked, but now I'm having to accept the possibilty that it just might never work out between him and me. That's a hard idea to swallow, because I've fought against it so long

[centeruniverse]

I guess...*sigh* It just...sucks. We've been through this whole cycle so many times, you'd think we would have figured it out by now. Maybe we just never will. And that's the hard part.

Not everyone is Keith. Check. I think I knew that already...it's just knowing that someone I trust and love as much as I did for him could do what he's done to me...it means that sometimes, my trust and love is worth nothing. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that yet.

And, you know, you know how to reach me, too...didn't we have a call scheduled some time this week?

[centeruniverse]

Well, it is an "on-again-off-again"...I'm not sure why you're apologizing for recognizing that...

And...yeah. Exactly. I guess just knowing that I can make mistakes that big, misjudge people that much...it's galling.

Sometimes, that's the best my scheduling gets...scheduling can be crazy right now...

[centeruniverse]

Well, I try not to get pissed at the truth. It's something most of my friends still haven't figured out, which is why most of them won't tell me how they really feel about Keith until after we've broken up (again).

I had fun too. We should do that again sometime.

[centeruniverse]

Well, it can, but usually I catch the irritation before it's unleashed on who ever sparked it, dealt with, and never noticed by any outside parties. I'm not perfect, of course, but I can't think of any time in recent memory that I was upset over a fact.

Not really, I don't think I structured that right grammatically. Basically, while Keith and I are going out, I hear nothing about him from any of my friends, or they say great things about him. We break up, and suddenly I'm surrounded by people saying, "I knew he was no good" "I never liked him" "I could never stand to be in the same room with him" etc. It just bugs me that they feel like they can't be honest with me about how they feel when it might actually make a difference in my life, and on top of that, while I'm dealing with how my life has blown up yet again and how I could have prevented it, I'm surrounded by people who all apparently "saw it coming".

[centeruniverse]

I do recall that, and I think you've been honest about how you felt about Keith from the get-go. And I appreciate that. It just rubs me the wrong way when some of my friends say, "Well, now that you hate Keith as much as I do, I can be honest with you about how I feel about him." It just shows how little they know about me, because 1) I've never managed to hate Keith at all, and 2) If they weren't being honest with me before, they were lying, and I have major problems with liers.

[centeruniverse]

Well, to be fair, if they just keep repeating the same thing while I'm in the relationship, I get annoyed again. I think the best way for anyone to handle the situation is to say, once or twice (or if prompted by the person) that you don't think the date is worthy, explain why, and then let what happens, happen.