Life is so good again... but a few things to say...
Yup it's been so long since I came here. So what's been going on? The photography just comes on in leaps and bounds and you know what work has been successful too. I'm debt free (which is good in these times of recession) and have a great social life.
Self esteem is back with a vengeance too, something I was severely lacking for the past 6 or 7 years. I think it's safe to say I was broken for quite a while, but Im back and stronger than ever. I do things for me now, and I work at being the best I can, being single for so long has really helped me understand me and more importantly like me.
It's only when you stop though that you realise that even during the bad times there were some amazing times and moments that actually got you through. Sometimes we don't appreciate them at the time. Thinking on the photography I remember the person who first encouraged me so much when I was soooo clueless (but they insisted I wasnt).
So I guess why I'm writing here is that I realise that when I wasn't fully fixed I really hurt someone, and I think about that all the time. That was purely down to me being scared of opening up and being vulnerable to someone being able to hurt me again. I probably came across as a bit cold and uncaring at the time but ironically that person meant the world to me and I was too scared to take a risk. I even (no-one knew this until now) shed a tear when they left. Of course thats all in the past now, but it still doesn't change that I wonder if they are ok now.
On the off chance they read this (cos understandably they dont want to talk to me), I am incredibly sorry. I can't take the upset back all I can do in apologise. The times before I messed up will be precious to me forever. You are definitely one in 6 billion and I hope life brings you all the happiness you so rightly deserve. I get the feeling it will.
Self esteem is back with a vengeance too, something I was severely lacking for the past 6 or 7 years. I think it's safe to say I was broken for quite a while, but Im back and stronger than ever. I do things for me now, and I work at being the best I can, being single for so long has really helped me understand me and more importantly like me.
It's only when you stop though that you realise that even during the bad times there were some amazing times and moments that actually got you through. Sometimes we don't appreciate them at the time. Thinking on the photography I remember the person who first encouraged me so much when I was soooo clueless (but they insisted I wasnt).
So I guess why I'm writing here is that I realise that when I wasn't fully fixed I really hurt someone, and I think about that all the time. That was purely down to me being scared of opening up and being vulnerable to someone being able to hurt me again. I probably came across as a bit cold and uncaring at the time but ironically that person meant the world to me and I was too scared to take a risk. I even (no-one knew this until now) shed a tear when they left. Of course thats all in the past now, but it still doesn't change that I wonder if they are ok now.
On the off chance they read this (cos understandably they dont want to talk to me), I am incredibly sorry. I can't take the upset back all I can do in apologise. The times before I messed up will be precious to me forever. You are definitely one in 6 billion and I hope life brings you all the happiness you so rightly deserve. I get the feeling it will.