In my daydream, does it make you homesick for me..
I feel settled in and happy. Nestled in and secure with you. Honestly happy. with every forehead kiss, lingering hold of your body, and gentle "..baby" from your lips, it still grows. and I'm grateful. The past few days have been perfect. Being able to see you more and to not even have to plan or do anything. Just spending time cuddling on the couch, cooking dinner, talking with you. I'm proud of you for persuing something you wanted, and I hope this new job and direction really pays off for you.
The Spectra finally came out which included all the poems I had submitted. I feel a little sense of accomplishment in seeing my own words in print and watching the stacks of the edition disappear around campus. I didn't tell my mother. A part of me wanted to share this with her, but the logical part of me knows better. I don't want that sense of accomplishment tainted with her silence or an awkward moment by reading the "dyke" word in a piece written by her daughter. I wonder what real honesty would feel like, but in reality I know it'd be gritty and distancing.
Taped a documentary last night on IFC - "The Celluloid Closet." Discussed gays in the film. I learned quite a bit and even found answers to a few questions I couldn't get answers to through research. (ie the name of the b&w movie in If These Walls Could Talk 2.) There was a time when if a gay was portrayed as a main character, she/he was 90% of the time killed at the end of the movie.(I believe it was the same way in Pulp Les Novels too. Or they at least ended tragicly). That segment showing of the repeated killing of gays literally gave me goose-bumps which I don't think a movie has ever done to me before. Was incredibly interesting to see the older movies tho before censorship was taken into effect. It was delightful to know womyn I grew up watching and loving like Katherine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn played in gays movies in their time. My fondness for them only grows. (Greta Garbo from Queen Christina is the second photo.)
