(no subject)
20 minutes ago I would have taken up a career as a prostitute if it meant I could have an oreo cookie. Just one oreo cookie. Thankfully, prostitution wasn't necessary and I headed to the corner market to buy some glorious oreo cookies, and buy them I did. And then I ate one. And it was by far the most delicious cookie that has ever touched the surface of my tongue and subsequently the grandest cookie-mush that had ever been digested in my stomach. And why stop when the goings good? So I grabbed another cookie and thrust it into my mouth. and it almost made me vomit. WHO THE HELL CRAVES ONE SINGULAR OREO COOKIE?! And now I have an entire bag of oreo cookies (minus 2) that is sitting there mocking my lack of ability to eat it. Bag of spicy cheetos? No problem. 12 pack of mountain dew? I was born for it. Bag of salt and vinegar potato chips? More like, air. Alas, I am defeated by a measely box of oreo cookies. Which brings me to my final conclusion. I suck at life.