read, write, and brainwashed
One of my more recent pieces of hatemail suggested that I either tell my grievances to a congressman or leave the country. I.E.-- Someone hasn’t been reading my page, or they’d know that I don’t think congressmen are the answer. Actually, I’m pretty sure they’re the problem. But that’s not my point today (that would be filed under "government.")
No, today, I want to deal with the grand old "Why do you hate America so much?" whiners, because I think they’ve done enough squeaking to... aw, fuck the grease, where’s my hack saw?
You see, there’s a lot of things for me to focus on, a sluggish populace, a conniving government... yes, I despise that, but that’s not America. I don’t hate America because I don’t think I can; if you read the documentation, America is founded on some pretty noble ideas and principles. I’ll admit it: I like those ideas and principles.
So what iHATE... are Americans.
And it’s not all of them... I’m an American, most of my friends are Americans... we’re usually okay. Usually. Every now and then I get this urge to buy beef jerky or an Aerosmith album, but it usually passes. You can’t generalize a population like that, it’s prejudice.
I hate prejudiced people.
I hate them all.
But there are enough people wandering around with that "Not a perfect system, but still the best one in the world" speech to make us all look like schmucks. Have you ever seen a group of Americans abroad? You can just walk down a street in London or Hamburg and see that group of baseball caps (turned fashionably backwards) and groan. Oh no, stupid Americans.
Americans in foreign language situations are even funnier. We talk to them in English, and they look at us vacantly... so we yell, as if they only speak Loud English, and when they don’t understand, they must be stupid. Really, who doesn’t speak English? Sure, it may be their country, but it’s our planet. I saw it on a Nike commercial.
Let’s face it, on the asshole scale, we’re worse than the French.
All my feelings on this are what make me American. This country was founded by rabble rousers and loud mouths that made as much noise as they could, telling their government to go fuck itself. And they did a lot more than write the word "Fuck," they bought rifles and killed people. So which is more profane?
Let me break it down even further. If you wave your flag and eat your apple pie, watch a baseball game and suck down a beer. I stand up and tell you I hate the way things are, that the public is ignorant and the government is corrupt. You’re kissing your king’s ass and I’m hammering a declaration of independence into his forehead. Who’s more American?
So yes, I hate the way things are here in the land of milk and honey, and I do know they’re worse out in Africa and totalitarian states in the middle east... but I do what I can. I make what noise I can because I feel the only way to enact change is to get the public up and clamoring. I’m an agnostic, rude, loud, politically incorrect asshole, but this is my fucking country, too, and if you don’t like it, I suggest you write your congressman or get the hell out.
No, today, I want to deal with the grand old "Why do you hate America so much?" whiners, because I think they’ve done enough squeaking to... aw, fuck the grease, where’s my hack saw?
You see, there’s a lot of things for me to focus on, a sluggish populace, a conniving government... yes, I despise that, but that’s not America. I don’t hate America because I don’t think I can; if you read the documentation, America is founded on some pretty noble ideas and principles. I’ll admit it: I like those ideas and principles.
So what iHATE... are Americans.
And it’s not all of them... I’m an American, most of my friends are Americans... we’re usually okay. Usually. Every now and then I get this urge to buy beef jerky or an Aerosmith album, but it usually passes. You can’t generalize a population like that, it’s prejudice.
I hate prejudiced people.
I hate them all.
But there are enough people wandering around with that "Not a perfect system, but still the best one in the world" speech to make us all look like schmucks. Have you ever seen a group of Americans abroad? You can just walk down a street in London or Hamburg and see that group of baseball caps (turned fashionably backwards) and groan. Oh no, stupid Americans.
Americans in foreign language situations are even funnier. We talk to them in English, and they look at us vacantly... so we yell, as if they only speak Loud English, and when they don’t understand, they must be stupid. Really, who doesn’t speak English? Sure, it may be their country, but it’s our planet. I saw it on a Nike commercial.
Let’s face it, on the asshole scale, we’re worse than the French.
All my feelings on this are what make me American. This country was founded by rabble rousers and loud mouths that made as much noise as they could, telling their government to go fuck itself. And they did a lot more than write the word "Fuck," they bought rifles and killed people. So which is more profane?
Let me break it down even further. If you wave your flag and eat your apple pie, watch a baseball game and suck down a beer. I stand up and tell you I hate the way things are, that the public is ignorant and the government is corrupt. You’re kissing your king’s ass and I’m hammering a declaration of independence into his forehead. Who’s more American?
So yes, I hate the way things are here in the land of milk and honey, and I do know they’re worse out in Africa and totalitarian states in the middle east... but I do what I can. I make what noise I can because I feel the only way to enact change is to get the public up and clamoring. I’m an agnostic, rude, loud, politically incorrect asshole, but this is my fucking country, too, and if you don’t like it, I suggest you write your congressman or get the hell out.