why.
Why do people have a problem with me making new friends, or at least trying?? i feel so freaking held back. I commute. I don't meet people easily and you can't exactly really get to meet people when you're sitting in a lecture, because you can't totally be yourself..you have to try and be silent/respectful/a tad attentif. I'm at this school, with these people that a lot of times, become friends you'll end up having for a while...and i am not really getting that chance. I have the opportunity to stay and meet new people, make new memories etc, once a freaking week - hell i've even cut it down to once every other week just so my attempt at having a more diverse social life with people who i want to get to know on a more personal level (instead of classmate-classemate level) doesn't inconvenience my love-life too much. Boy, do i have a venting session to do.
I'm 18 (nearly 19).
I'm in my first year at university.
I am trying to meet new people.
I want to have new experiences.
I am missing out on a fair bit being a commuter.
Change is natural and it doesnt always mean being a negative thing.
I need new experiences to help me grow.
I can't get them, when i feel confined.
I am just asking you to accept change,
and keep loving me nonetheless
because i won't change as a person.
Some of my views on things may change a bit,
but inside, i'm still the same.
I just want to be able to spend time with my York friends oooonce every OTHER FRIGGEN WEEK, to see them outside the classroom, in a natural setting, getting to know eachother, having fun...a different kind of fun than normally seen in my life. A different fun, with different people. It doesnt mean i don't love the fun that you and i see. I love spending time with you, i just want to be "allowed" to love spending time with other people.
I'm just trying to balance things...it's difficult, but all necessities: school,work,love,friends. But i can not balance these without some help...i feel like a human freaking teeter-totter...once one part goes up, the other goes down. there is never a fucking middle ground. never complete balance. am i insane? am i asking too much? the situations change, not the person. i just want to come to a compromise. Two days a month dedicated to seeing people i want to become closer friends with. The rest of the time is dedicated to the rest of my priorities - mainly you.
****
... alright... this rant started off being at a couple people, but then got a little pointy-in one direction...sorry. but it is true and i know you don't like it. but i'm sorry, but you just have to go with me on this one. twice a month of new faces, new memories. i don't see how that is too much too ask.
I'm 18 (nearly 19).
I'm in my first year at university.
I am trying to meet new people.
I want to have new experiences.
I am missing out on a fair bit being a commuter.
Change is natural and it doesnt always mean being a negative thing.
I need new experiences to help me grow.
I can't get them, when i feel confined.
I am just asking you to accept change,
and keep loving me nonetheless
because i won't change as a person.
Some of my views on things may change a bit,
but inside, i'm still the same.
I just want to be able to spend time with my York friends oooonce every OTHER FRIGGEN WEEK, to see them outside the classroom, in a natural setting, getting to know eachother, having fun...a different kind of fun than normally seen in my life. A different fun, with different people. It doesnt mean i don't love the fun that you and i see. I love spending time with you, i just want to be "allowed" to love spending time with other people.
I'm just trying to balance things...it's difficult, but all necessities: school,work,love,friends. But i can not balance these without some help...i feel like a human freaking teeter-totter...once one part goes up, the other goes down. there is never a fucking middle ground. never complete balance. am i insane? am i asking too much? the situations change, not the person. i just want to come to a compromise. Two days a month dedicated to seeing people i want to become closer friends with. The rest of the time is dedicated to the rest of my priorities - mainly you.
****
... alright... this rant started off being at a couple people, but then got a little pointy-in one direction...sorry. but it is true and i know you don't like it. but i'm sorry, but you just have to go with me on this one. twice a month of new faces, new memories. i don't see how that is too much too ask.