My lips are Cracked, but Sealed Netherless
So, I know all of these have been depressing. So here's a few slightly amusing things, mostly from childhood.
Apparently, the darker your hair is, the more mature you are.
I am so terrified of the Santa in the kitchen that even though it is nearly four in the morning, I am too scared to journey my way upstairs.
When I was in eighth grade, I thought that phone sex was having sex with a phone.
When I had my first period, I thought I had some sort of disease and was dying.
I spent an hour talking to myself yesterday.
I can never get the phrase "true dat" right.
When I was little, I didn't know what a vagina was, so I thought babies came out of a woman's ass. I still don't know which is more horrifying...
I was in love with Elvis Presley for years. I didn't discover until 4 years after loving him that he was dead.
When I was in third grade, Nicole convinced me that I was a robotic alien adopted clone from Mars. Heartbroken, I wailed to my mom (crying) "how come you never told me..."
When I asked my mom about the Birds and the Bees, she said she didn't know what I was talking about.
While being potty trained, I would always have accidents, but they would always be right next to the damn toilet.
I've had a bump on my finger since I was 5. I thought it was a sign that I was artistically talented. ( this is back when i wanted to be an artist.)
My fantasy from childhood was to go to an awards show, wearing a sequiny black or red dress, with tall red stilettos, red lips, and red nails. I guess hookers used to be "in"
I cried when i figured out that the chicken you eat is the same chicken that's on a farm
I used to love smiley faces and ham sandwiches
my mom used to make pancakes every sunday
when i got my first camera, i didnt know what to take pictures of, so I would take pictures of food and my barbies.
When people would ask my brother what he was going to be when he grew up, I would shriek "A mad scientist!"
I was always the bad guy, unless I was playing with my brother
I thought I was a great singer until 6th grade, when I listened to a tape of myself
I thought that a 20 dollar bill made me the richest person in the world, and I folded it up into a million pieces and then lost it.
I liked headbands
OK, now you're bored.
But i still LOVE YOU!
Apparently, the darker your hair is, the more mature you are.
I am so terrified of the Santa in the kitchen that even though it is nearly four in the morning, I am too scared to journey my way upstairs.
When I was in eighth grade, I thought that phone sex was having sex with a phone.
When I had my first period, I thought I had some sort of disease and was dying.
I spent an hour talking to myself yesterday.
I can never get the phrase "true dat" right.
When I was little, I didn't know what a vagina was, so I thought babies came out of a woman's ass. I still don't know which is more horrifying...
I was in love with Elvis Presley for years. I didn't discover until 4 years after loving him that he was dead.
When I was in third grade, Nicole convinced me that I was a robotic alien adopted clone from Mars. Heartbroken, I wailed to my mom (crying) "how come you never told me..."
When I asked my mom about the Birds and the Bees, she said she didn't know what I was talking about.
While being potty trained, I would always have accidents, but they would always be right next to the damn toilet.
I've had a bump on my finger since I was 5. I thought it was a sign that I was artistically talented. ( this is back when i wanted to be an artist.)
My fantasy from childhood was to go to an awards show, wearing a sequiny black or red dress, with tall red stilettos, red lips, and red nails. I guess hookers used to be "in"
I cried when i figured out that the chicken you eat is the same chicken that's on a farm
I used to love smiley faces and ham sandwiches
my mom used to make pancakes every sunday
when i got my first camera, i didnt know what to take pictures of, so I would take pictures of food and my barbies.
When people would ask my brother what he was going to be when he grew up, I would shriek "A mad scientist!"
I was always the bad guy, unless I was playing with my brother
I thought I was a great singer until 6th grade, when I listened to a tape of myself
I thought that a 20 dollar bill made me the richest person in the world, and I folded it up into a million pieces and then lost it.
I liked headbands
OK, now you're bored.
But i still LOVE YOU!