May 10, 2007 20:49
Over the last few days I've thought a lot about two little girls are very different, but both hold special places in my heart. Alice and Katie are both turning four this month and with birthdays come presents so Dani and I went shopping on Monday to search for the perfect gifts.
Katie is easy. She's a little bundle of energy, the only person who can wear out my two-year-old boy. I spend a lot of time with her and she often reminds me of Dani as a little girl. I knew that a dinosour and a pair of shorts would suit her just fine. Easy.
And then came Alice, although it makes me sad to say it, I don't really know her that well. Every experience I've had from her and reports from her Mother tell me that she is a girly-girl who loves dresses and pink. As I went shopping for her I felt an urge to support this surprising little girl by purchasing the girliest gift I could find: a princess costume. Dani was horrified. I demured and went with something a little bit more subdued but it got me thinking.
I've been labeled "girly" my whole life. Most of the women in my life have at one time or another accussed me of being a "girl" as if it was a label to be despised. It makes me wonder, will Alice grow up feeling, like I did, that in order to be respected and valued she must supress the instinct to be feminine?
A few months ago I read a book called FEMALE CHAUVINIST PIGS that addressed this topic. The author believes that the Feminist revolution somehow became muddled and now women think that in order to be considered intelligent, successful, and worthwhile they must be like men. It makes me furious and when I get angry I tend to get mouthy.
Tonight I wrapped Alice's present in fuschia paper and tied it up with a pretty pink bow. If I have no other impact in my little cousin's life then this, I want to let her know that being a girl, a feminine one, is not something to be ashamed of. I want her to know that she is strong and intelligent and beautiful because of her femininity, not inspite of it.