I was never in any way saying that mom should not have gone to be with her. I realize the importance of family, but I'm just saying that I can't find it in me to be heartbroken about it for numerous reasons. What I DO feel for is mom's loss, more than anything else.
Spiritually-speaking, I would find the death of someone who is/has been grievously ill to be a good thing, anyway. Their suffering is at an end, and I believe that they will go to a place of rest before beginning their journey anew, hopefully into a better life, having garnered whatever lessons where to be learned from the past life. Death only sucks for us who are left behind, and even that pain is a testament to the love they earned from others.
In uncle Chris' case, I felt - well, not joy, but a certain sense of pride and it brought a wistful smile to my face when I heard of his passing. I have nothing but the fondest of memories of him, and wished dearly that I had have been able to know him better. His life was by no means easy, but he met the challenge head on and made the very best of it. He defied all the odds and lasted more than 40 years longer than they expected him to. There was a life to be celebrated, not mourned. He did damned good, and he earned his rest and hopefully a better lot for the next go round. The pain I felt when he died was purely in the knowing that he would be missed, that I would never again get to listen to him share his knowledge about dinosaurs, or experience his quiet sense of humour and gentle nature. The pain was selfish saddness alone, for there was nothing negative or unjust about his passing. Our hurt was a paean to his life.
That is my take on death, and why - callous as it sounds - there is nothing for me to mourn, no experience to warrant it. My only empathy is for our mother's hurt.
Spiritually-speaking, I would find the death of someone who is/has been grievously ill to be a good thing, anyway. Their suffering is at an end, and I believe that they will go to a place of rest before beginning their journey anew, hopefully into a better life, having garnered whatever lessons where to be learned from the past life. Death only sucks for us who are left behind, and even that pain is a testament to the love they earned from others.
In uncle Chris' case, I felt - well, not joy, but a certain sense of pride and it brought a wistful smile to my face when I heard of his passing. I have nothing but the fondest of memories of him, and wished dearly that I had have been able to know him better. His life was by no means easy, but he met the challenge head on and made the very best of it. He defied all the odds and lasted more than 40 years longer than they expected him to. There was a life to be celebrated, not mourned. He did damned good, and he earned his rest and hopefully a better lot for the next go round. The pain I felt when he died was purely in the knowing that he would be missed, that I would never again get to listen to him share his knowledge about dinosaurs, or experience his quiet sense of humour and gentle nature. The pain was selfish saddness alone, for there was nothing negative or unjust about his passing. Our hurt was a paean to his life.
That is my take on death, and why - callous as it sounds - there is nothing for me to mourn, no experience to warrant it. My only empathy is for our mother's hurt.
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