Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

[celticravenwolf]

There's no such thing as 'fate.' There can't be. 'Fate' would imply that there is a set outcome, a set destination where we are determined to end up, regardless of circumstance. Complete and utter bullshit

Comments

[celticravenwolf]

I think what I hate most about this admin stuff is that I feel so... wasted. I feel like I have more to offer the world than to be an operator, server or admin assistant! This might be my opportunity to work towards devoting more time toward the horses, though I'm pretty sure I don't plan on ever doing that for a living. The goal now is working toward being able to afford board at a facility where I can actually do some real training to get horses at least started on the road to eventing, or at the very least show jumping with a solid dressage background. To depart on a tangent, I hate that there's virtually no cross country courses around here. XC has always been my favourite phase. I think I really am going to have to ultimately build my own and see where that goes. The shitty part is that I already know how much it costs to build those bloody jumps, and I cringe at the prospect of it!

So again, I'm wondering just where I might be able to go within the government - if I can wedge into a position that actually uses my University degree I might be able to get a substantial jump in pay grade, which would help immensely!

I haven't put in my application for paramedic yet - I know I said that I would but I ran into a hitch getting my high school transcript faxed over - and I'm a little afraid to now, because if I get accepted then I really DO have a choice to make. On the other hand, if I don't get accepted then I'll feel like shit, lol.

I hate not having a direction to go in! This fucking sucks!!!

[skitty_kitty]

I hate not having a direction to go in! This fucking sucks!!!

Welcome to my world! ;D Definitely apply because the not knowing could make you regret never trying. You could try asking again, magically speaking, but I never get much worthwhile in my answers. Probably something about free will and choosing one's own path. Bastards. ;)

Good luck whichever way you chose!

[celticravenwolf]

Thanks.

I think it would be a good idea to consult the cards again for clarification - a different spread for a more specific reading.