One single, solitary flame...
how to begin this post.. I have tried several times and the right words aren't coming to me.
I am feeling pretty nostalgic tonight. Have you ever just wanted to take someone-that is in your memory?~and just pull them out and hug them-hold them? I wish.... Those happy memories fill my heart until it almost bursts-and then the recognition comes that those moments-are but memories, and will never come again. And it feels like someone just squeezes my heart until it can't stand it any longer. Gone is a hard word. Forever is a worse one. I just wish I could reach back into the past and give everyone one last hug-just hold them for a minute longer..look in their eyes while I had their attention and tell them how much they mean to me. ...just to see their smiles again... hear their voices.
Why is it that my greatest wishes-all too often dwell upon the impossible?......I guess I am an utterly hopeless romantic-...
Earlier this evening I went shopping, mainly because and even though I have hit every store in the central Ohio area-I went again, poking through the Halloween decorations. I picked up a few things but all in all I just wasn't in the mood-which is really shocking. I think a large part of it was because I was just tired..but it's also kind of hard to throw money down on something when it's so close to the holiday.. I can't believe it's almost November..and GASP-my second most hated day of the year is right behind that-New Years! ACK. Good lord-2007? I don't think I can handle that.. I need 2006 to stretch out for another few years so I can finish up on some loose ends..
I turned on some country music, and lit a candle here as I write. One single, solitary flame casting it's wavering glow about the room. A lonley sight.
Today, I took a short walk to my neighbors house to drop off some brownies and a card. Almost one year ago, she lost her husband who passed away just a few days before Halloween. In fact, the visitation services were actually ON Halloween night. I wrote about this is an old post from last year.. Well, I knew that both her and her son would really be having a hard time. I didn't know what else to do to let them know that I was thinking about them and still praying for them. She seemed really glad for the company and we talked for quite some time. I just can't even begin to understand how hard this past year must have been for her. God how I hate death. It seperates loved ones. No one should ever have to say good-bye, especially at such a young age~Glen was only 36... Kim is a really strong woman though and is very self-reliant. She's a fighter, so I have no doubt that she will make it. I just wish she didn't have to without him. I guess we just never know how much time we will have with our loved ones. It always ends too soon....
*sigh*
changing subjects..
Paddington is looking pretty cute right now-all curled up on the couch, eyes closed tightly.. adorable:) fluffy little puppy..
Well I guess I should make some effort to sleep tonight-er-this morning..it's 1:29 AM.. so I will wrap up here. Since I can't step back in time to be with those I love, the next best thing is doing so in my dreams... Thank you God for making dreams:)