Reply to rodillon's posts.
*sigh*
After seeing robynz's post in responce to rodillon's post I decided to make a reply to the things rodillon' says, accusses, claims and distorts.
I hate the way he puts me down, says I only managed to do things because of him. How he made it work. How he did things better. Also how I am some woman two timing him like I ever belonged to him. I never did and I told him this often when he tried to get too close.
He says if it was not for me Haven would never have got on its feet. Bullshit. I have been good at finding people to help me with it. He was just one of those people. Yes he did some code (which was pretty awful and had to be re-coded later) and yes he asked Sabby and Vamp if I could have space on their server. But as you said I would have found a place eventually anyway. We have jumped from server to server ever since and I have always found a new place for Haven. By then I was probably closer friends with Sabby anyway so could well have started off on there anyway.
He goes on about me opening it to the public anyway and how it was just a test server. LIke I was never supposed to open it to the public. Umm...actually I spoke with Sabby and Vamp first and they said I could. Also he kept saying we were not ready yet, more to code, more to build. I told him we would always have to code more and build more and that would never finish. I decided to open on a specific date and gave those working on the project a months notice on this and despite his doom saying we opened and we became successful. I made the right decision and he himself even later on told me he had been wrong and I had been right on this.
He then goes on about Eternal Nights and how he had grown so powerful and though I started there earlier than him he was soon much bigger. Umm...hello. Of course he would get much bigger. I spent a good three hours a day building up my character there which in itself was over the top. He spent a good 16 hours doing so. His compulsive obsessive nature meant he could not stop and that's all he did even in work he would spend most his time building his character and I said on a number of occasions he was doing too much and I told him to slow down and do far less hours. He would not listen.
Ugh how can he then compare this to 'Witchcraft' and say how he has Witchcraft like powers and started studying them after me but grown far more powerful. Wicca is not about power. It is a religion and part of worship. It is not about how powerful you are. I have never claimed I am some advanced Witch or studied in depth. In fact I have said as to the ritual and knowledge of these aspects I am a novice. I am not even yet a member of a coven. What I knew a lot about was the culture and mythology of the Celts. He has no powers, if he did and Wicca was like that it would not be a competition if he tried Wicca he would not get very far anyway as he does not know how to look at the true meaning of things. He thinks it is about numbers and words and different ways you can connect them and twist them to fit. No it is about discovering yourself and the world around and not something so formulaic as that. When I see him doing these formulas and connections it reminds me of a computer trying to understand religion and mysticism but being a robot never being truly able to and wanting everything to match up neatly.
Now when he told me about isabellaval and the other girls and this Charlie guy I took his side because he told me a very warped side of the story. It was only when listening more to what he said I got worried and thought actually he might be acting like a stalker, remembering how he was with me and this was confirmed when I heard from isabellaval and sensualsky and erinsfantasy and read what they had to say and I realised just how bad he had got. Gods I was glad that day I never decided to give him my phone or address. He would have been that way with me. He could never understand how much he scared them and ranted at this Charlie guy because he stood up to protect them.
I am also tired about how he goes on about how I betrayed him with my Kara character. When I first met him he kept saying he did not mind that I was with Ravenshade but he told me I was not to go with any man but him. I told him on more than one occasion that I would not agree to that. He never seemed to listen or take it in. He convinced himself I agreed. No the only person who could ever ask me not to go with any other guys (or girls) was Jamie (Ravenshade) the woman I loved. He could never make such demands because he was not my boyfriend. When I did go with others he got so jealous that I ended up having to go to other places and make an alt if I wanted to TS. Jamie encouraged this, she was not jealous like he was. Perhaps because she knew I belonged to her. Yes I felt guilty about not telling him about the alt because I am the sort of person to feel guilty easily despite other staff on Alexandria telling me I did not need too, we should not in fact tell others about our new alts. Because I felt guilty despite not needing too I told him in the end about her and he got extremely jealous and possessive. After awhile he told me he did not mind me going with other guys so long as I did not hide it. So I tried that and he got all jealous and possessive again. I could not win.
I see he likes to go on about Valerie and how I got jealous. Did I get jealous? Yes (Goddess knows why) but I remember distinctly telling him I did not mind if he got a girlfriend. In fact I am sure I encouraged it. What he misread was my concern about him jumping feet first into the relationship with a girl he barely knew and also the things he had told me she had said about me which were hurtful. Though I later realised she had said these things based on the bad mouthing of me he had done to her. There was a time when things were low I pleaded with him not to disappear which he threatened to do. That was a really low point for me and I wish I had not done it but I was going through severe depression at the time and I did not want to see a friend just disappear. This was not long after I had on his request pleaded for his then girlfriend Valerie to get back together with him despite me not wanting to. Despite me thinking she was bad for him and he for her. I did that for him as a friend and this was how he repaid me. I ended up feeling sorry for Valerie as he obsessed over her like he did me sending lots of very long e-mails every day like he does now with posts into his journal. I used to get that. I am sure it was that and his obsession that drove her away.
He seems to think that without him Haven would have gotten nowhere. LIke he did most of it. I am sorry but he really did not. He hung around making a lot of silly objects we would not use like the Andromada spaceship and different robots and sex sheep vendors and lightsabres and other useless things. When I asked him to do some building he just looked quickly at some Celtic mythology, took a entry written about a person or even and made that room. he literally lifted the test and put that as the room desc which said nothing about the room at all. Serenity and I had to go around and turn all of those into proper descriptions. What rooms he did make with a description those descriptions only tended to have 1 or 2 lines. He did code some proper much code yes but he was flailing and a newbie to code and later most of that had to be re-coded. He goes on about how much he did well sorry I and others also did a lot it was not just him. People after him did a lot many did more than he ever did and he ended up after awhile doing nothing but hanging out idle on Haven because he spent all his time on Eternal Nights building his character even when I asked him to do some things. That is why I dropped him as staff. In the end he did fuck all.
Now I was not sure I wanted robynz to post to this wtf community. Rod is obviously mentally unstable and I am not sure I like the idea of others laughing at him because of this. That said he also posts a lot of distorted or outright lies in his own journal on a public level about other people which he has no right to do, things that others might actually read and believe despite it being wrong so in that sense another part of me is glad he is ousted as the fraud he is.
I still feel sorry for him on one level. There is still much he write about me and others that is wrong and distorted or not remembered right. He seems to only ever listen to half of what someone says and makes the rest up in his head and posted wrong things about what happened or was said. Despite this and what he has put me and others through I still wish he would seek help. He seems to see this as a bad thing, as some sort of threat. But he has lost most, perhaps all his friends over the way he has become. If he looked for help, went to a councillor perhaps as a start and got through this then perhaps he could leave a normal life again, make friends again and not drive people away and scare them.
I have decided to leave this post open. I have no doubt he will read it. I hope he will for once look at another persons point of view and not distort what is said. However sadly knowing how his mind works I know he wont take any of this on board and no doubt will use it ti further his ravings.
Once again I shall attempt to ignore him in the hope he stops these personal posts about others and seeks help.
Ironically this post has probably become as long as one of his. But I wanted to counter as much as I could that he puts out, I probably barely scratched the surface.
After seeing robynz's post in responce to rodillon's post I decided to make a reply to the things rodillon' says, accusses, claims and distorts.
I hate the way he puts me down, says I only managed to do things because of him. How he made it work. How he did things better. Also how I am some woman two timing him like I ever belonged to him. I never did and I told him this often when he tried to get too close.
He says if it was not for me Haven would never have got on its feet. Bullshit. I have been good at finding people to help me with it. He was just one of those people. Yes he did some code (which was pretty awful and had to be re-coded later) and yes he asked Sabby and Vamp if I could have space on their server. But as you said I would have found a place eventually anyway. We have jumped from server to server ever since and I have always found a new place for Haven. By then I was probably closer friends with Sabby anyway so could well have started off on there anyway.
He goes on about me opening it to the public anyway and how it was just a test server. LIke I was never supposed to open it to the public. Umm...actually I spoke with Sabby and Vamp first and they said I could. Also he kept saying we were not ready yet, more to code, more to build. I told him we would always have to code more and build more and that would never finish. I decided to open on a specific date and gave those working on the project a months notice on this and despite his doom saying we opened and we became successful. I made the right decision and he himself even later on told me he had been wrong and I had been right on this.
He then goes on about Eternal Nights and how he had grown so powerful and though I started there earlier than him he was soon much bigger. Umm...hello. Of course he would get much bigger. I spent a good three hours a day building up my character there which in itself was over the top. He spent a good 16 hours doing so. His compulsive obsessive nature meant he could not stop and that's all he did even in work he would spend most his time building his character and I said on a number of occasions he was doing too much and I told him to slow down and do far less hours. He would not listen.
Ugh how can he then compare this to 'Witchcraft' and say how he has Witchcraft like powers and started studying them after me but grown far more powerful. Wicca is not about power. It is a religion and part of worship. It is not about how powerful you are. I have never claimed I am some advanced Witch or studied in depth. In fact I have said as to the ritual and knowledge of these aspects I am a novice. I am not even yet a member of a coven. What I knew a lot about was the culture and mythology of the Celts. He has no powers, if he did and Wicca was like that it would not be a competition if he tried Wicca he would not get very far anyway as he does not know how to look at the true meaning of things. He thinks it is about numbers and words and different ways you can connect them and twist them to fit. No it is about discovering yourself and the world around and not something so formulaic as that. When I see him doing these formulas and connections it reminds me of a computer trying to understand religion and mysticism but being a robot never being truly able to and wanting everything to match up neatly.
Now when he told me about isabellaval and the other girls and this Charlie guy I took his side because he told me a very warped side of the story. It was only when listening more to what he said I got worried and thought actually he might be acting like a stalker, remembering how he was with me and this was confirmed when I heard from isabellaval and sensualsky and erinsfantasy and read what they had to say and I realised just how bad he had got. Gods I was glad that day I never decided to give him my phone or address. He would have been that way with me. He could never understand how much he scared them and ranted at this Charlie guy because he stood up to protect them.
I am also tired about how he goes on about how I betrayed him with my Kara character. When I first met him he kept saying he did not mind that I was with Ravenshade but he told me I was not to go with any man but him. I told him on more than one occasion that I would not agree to that. He never seemed to listen or take it in. He convinced himself I agreed. No the only person who could ever ask me not to go with any other guys (or girls) was Jamie (Ravenshade) the woman I loved. He could never make such demands because he was not my boyfriend. When I did go with others he got so jealous that I ended up having to go to other places and make an alt if I wanted to TS. Jamie encouraged this, she was not jealous like he was. Perhaps because she knew I belonged to her. Yes I felt guilty about not telling him about the alt because I am the sort of person to feel guilty easily despite other staff on Alexandria telling me I did not need too, we should not in fact tell others about our new alts. Because I felt guilty despite not needing too I told him in the end about her and he got extremely jealous and possessive. After awhile he told me he did not mind me going with other guys so long as I did not hide it. So I tried that and he got all jealous and possessive again. I could not win.
I see he likes to go on about Valerie and how I got jealous. Did I get jealous? Yes (Goddess knows why) but I remember distinctly telling him I did not mind if he got a girlfriend. In fact I am sure I encouraged it. What he misread was my concern about him jumping feet first into the relationship with a girl he barely knew and also the things he had told me she had said about me which were hurtful. Though I later realised she had said these things based on the bad mouthing of me he had done to her. There was a time when things were low I pleaded with him not to disappear which he threatened to do. That was a really low point for me and I wish I had not done it but I was going through severe depression at the time and I did not want to see a friend just disappear. This was not long after I had on his request pleaded for his then girlfriend Valerie to get back together with him despite me not wanting to. Despite me thinking she was bad for him and he for her. I did that for him as a friend and this was how he repaid me. I ended up feeling sorry for Valerie as he obsessed over her like he did me sending lots of very long e-mails every day like he does now with posts into his journal. I used to get that. I am sure it was that and his obsession that drove her away.
He seems to think that without him Haven would have gotten nowhere. LIke he did most of it. I am sorry but he really did not. He hung around making a lot of silly objects we would not use like the Andromada spaceship and different robots and sex sheep vendors and lightsabres and other useless things. When I asked him to do some building he just looked quickly at some Celtic mythology, took a entry written about a person or even and made that room. he literally lifted the test and put that as the room desc which said nothing about the room at all. Serenity and I had to go around and turn all of those into proper descriptions. What rooms he did make with a description those descriptions only tended to have 1 or 2 lines. He did code some proper much code yes but he was flailing and a newbie to code and later most of that had to be re-coded. He goes on about how much he did well sorry I and others also did a lot it was not just him. People after him did a lot many did more than he ever did and he ended up after awhile doing nothing but hanging out idle on Haven because he spent all his time on Eternal Nights building his character even when I asked him to do some things. That is why I dropped him as staff. In the end he did fuck all.
Now I was not sure I wanted robynz to post to this wtf community. Rod is obviously mentally unstable and I am not sure I like the idea of others laughing at him because of this. That said he also posts a lot of distorted or outright lies in his own journal on a public level about other people which he has no right to do, things that others might actually read and believe despite it being wrong so in that sense another part of me is glad he is ousted as the fraud he is.
I still feel sorry for him on one level. There is still much he write about me and others that is wrong and distorted or not remembered right. He seems to only ever listen to half of what someone says and makes the rest up in his head and posted wrong things about what happened or was said. Despite this and what he has put me and others through I still wish he would seek help. He seems to see this as a bad thing, as some sort of threat. But he has lost most, perhaps all his friends over the way he has become. If he looked for help, went to a councillor perhaps as a start and got through this then perhaps he could leave a normal life again, make friends again and not drive people away and scare them.
I have decided to leave this post open. I have no doubt he will read it. I hope he will for once look at another persons point of view and not distort what is said. However sadly knowing how his mind works I know he wont take any of this on board and no doubt will use it ti further his ravings.
Once again I shall attempt to ignore him in the hope he stops these personal posts about others and seeks help.
Ironically this post has probably become as long as one of his. But I wanted to counter as much as I could that he puts out, I probably barely scratched the surface.