(no subject)
So I had a few thoughts that I decided to share and see if anyone else has opinions that they would like to voice on this subject. Also disclaimer, you may not agree or like what I have to say, which is fine I just ask that you be nice to me *grin*.
I was at the Lee Rocker show a week or so ago and I noticed something that was different. The majority of the people at the show were male. Beyond that the majority of the people at the front of the stage attempting to be closest were male and the majority of people that hung around afterwards wanting pictures or autographs were male. I find that slightly odd because typically when you like of an adoring fan base it is women which, due to the nature of my brain made me think about male vs female stuff. And this caused me to wonder if perhaps one of the reasons that men like the rockabilly style so much is because of the icon or image of a masculine figure being not only acceptable but expected.
I have actually given this a great deal of thought lately, the idea that men are no longer allowed to be men and really haven’t since the 40’s and 50’s. In the 60’s men were in a transitional state (as were women), in the 70’s I am sorry I can not in all good conscious all any male a true man if he wore a polyester jumpsuit, in the 80’s and 90’s men were suppose to be sensitive and get in touch with their feminine side and now men are to be metro sexual. Now the dictionary definition of metro sexual is “a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males”. But this is not how people see it for the most part; the common concept is that this is a straight man that acts gay. A man that is feminine and actively works at being such. A man that does not want to be a “man”. Now if that is how a guy truly wants to be than I say so be it, leave him alone, better yet tell him to call me and we can shop and have girl talk together.
Okay I have gotten sidetracked, I do that a lot. But the thoughts stemmed from the idea that men have been emasculated and in my opinion it is a large part due to women. We have screamed for decades about women’s lib and the equal rights (which I do not think is a bad thing by the way) but somewhere along the way it became an us against them sort of a deal and the more extremists figured the only way to bet the men was to effeminate them. To be masculine was to be a condensing, boorish, uneducated Neanderthal. Well now how does that make sense? It does not to me at least.
Women do not need to strip men to be empowered, I do not see how that works one bit, and in fact I think that it cripples us. The only way to empower ourselves is to embrace that which makes us women, our femininity. To say that a man is a brute because he is masculine is no different than saying that a woman who is feminine is subservient and feeble minded. Most of my friends would say that I am a bit feminine but I am not subservient nor am I feeble minded. But to claim to be feminine can cause a vicious backlash of disapproval by…..women. How is that for confusing? I have been told that I do not value what the women before me fought for, the pains they went to grant me equal rights and so forth. I say they are wrong. I honour them by actually living what they fought so hard for and that was the right to choose. The original idea behind the Women’s Liberation Movement was not to replace men with ourselves or to turn women into men but for women to granted equal rights and to have the freedom to choose what they wanted out of life. Now if that means a woman wanted to studied medicine than so be it, if a woman wants to be a firefighter (providing she can handle the physical demands of the job because I know I could not) than so be it and if a woman wants to stay at home and raise a family and be a homemaker than so be it.
Where in that idea is the concept that we must take a man down? That we must strip away all that makes him a man and basically castrate him? Now yes I realize that is an extreme but really in some ways I do believe it. We have taken away just about all rituals that men once had. Their rites of passage so to speak, as a woman I still have mine. I still get my period that marks the beginning of my transition from girl to woman. I still have the ritual of childbearing, should I choose to and I still make time for “girly” things. I am fortunate that I have a strong group of females in my life that I can be a woman with, weather that means having a sewing session or bitching about men over tea. I have my girls; I go through the ritual of being a woman daily. What do men have? Ages ago a father would take his son hunting to mark his transition from boy to man. He would have taken his son to a tournament or something violent. It is not my idea of fun but men are more physically aggressive typically than women. Our aggression is more subtle and manipulative because yes we are.
So this thought brings me back to the rockabilly subculture. The image of men working on heavy metal cars or riding their bikes dressed in leather, I can see how that would appeal to the men of today. The music is basic, there is not a lot of pretence to it but it has a strong bass beat. The lyrics, that I have heard, talk about cars, going out with your gal, having some beers, fighting and just looking for a good time. They are simple to say the least. But the image they bring forth is one of a guy actually being allowed to revel in his masculinity without being considered a mindless jerk. As far as I am considered a jerk is not a man and any real man will agree with that statement.
What I find confusing and a double standard is that as women we are allowed and expect to keep that little things that make us unique as woman and may the Gods help the man that tries to take it away from us, for example the out cry we did when it was suggested that we could not breast feed in public. But we are allowed and expect to get away with stripping all the little things that makes being a man unique, how is that fair?
Also in reality women need to be more honest because I personally want to be with a man not a reasonable facsimile. Perhaps it would help if I describe what masculine means. Well by definition in the dictionary it is “pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men; having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness.” My personal definition is someone that is protective, caring, understands or at least tries to. A man to me is someone that will help those that need assistance not for personal gain but because it is the right thing to do. A man is someone that can laugh at him self and play but can be serious and take care of things when needed. A man is someone that can be more aggressive but not cruel. I do not, and most women I know do not, want to be with a man they can hang out with on girl’s day out and do girl talk with. That is why we have girlfriends. We want a man that is opposite to us and complimentary at the same time. So if so many women want this why is it still such a taboo thing to be a masculine man?
Agree or disagree with me that is fine, tell me why?
Note - sorry for those of you on myspace for the double post but I would really like feedback and I have other friends on that site that are not on livejournal and vise versa.
I was at the Lee Rocker show a week or so ago and I noticed something that was different. The majority of the people at the show were male. Beyond that the majority of the people at the front of the stage attempting to be closest were male and the majority of people that hung around afterwards wanting pictures or autographs were male. I find that slightly odd because typically when you like of an adoring fan base it is women which, due to the nature of my brain made me think about male vs female stuff. And this caused me to wonder if perhaps one of the reasons that men like the rockabilly style so much is because of the icon or image of a masculine figure being not only acceptable but expected.
I have actually given this a great deal of thought lately, the idea that men are no longer allowed to be men and really haven’t since the 40’s and 50’s. In the 60’s men were in a transitional state (as were women), in the 70’s I am sorry I can not in all good conscious all any male a true man if he wore a polyester jumpsuit, in the 80’s and 90’s men were suppose to be sensitive and get in touch with their feminine side and now men are to be metro sexual. Now the dictionary definition of metro sexual is “a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males”. But this is not how people see it for the most part; the common concept is that this is a straight man that acts gay. A man that is feminine and actively works at being such. A man that does not want to be a “man”. Now if that is how a guy truly wants to be than I say so be it, leave him alone, better yet tell him to call me and we can shop and have girl talk together.
Okay I have gotten sidetracked, I do that a lot. But the thoughts stemmed from the idea that men have been emasculated and in my opinion it is a large part due to women. We have screamed for decades about women’s lib and the equal rights (which I do not think is a bad thing by the way) but somewhere along the way it became an us against them sort of a deal and the more extremists figured the only way to bet the men was to effeminate them. To be masculine was to be a condensing, boorish, uneducated Neanderthal. Well now how does that make sense? It does not to me at least.
Women do not need to strip men to be empowered, I do not see how that works one bit, and in fact I think that it cripples us. The only way to empower ourselves is to embrace that which makes us women, our femininity. To say that a man is a brute because he is masculine is no different than saying that a woman who is feminine is subservient and feeble minded. Most of my friends would say that I am a bit feminine but I am not subservient nor am I feeble minded. But to claim to be feminine can cause a vicious backlash of disapproval by…..women. How is that for confusing? I have been told that I do not value what the women before me fought for, the pains they went to grant me equal rights and so forth. I say they are wrong. I honour them by actually living what they fought so hard for and that was the right to choose. The original idea behind the Women’s Liberation Movement was not to replace men with ourselves or to turn women into men but for women to granted equal rights and to have the freedom to choose what they wanted out of life. Now if that means a woman wanted to studied medicine than so be it, if a woman wants to be a firefighter (providing she can handle the physical demands of the job because I know I could not) than so be it and if a woman wants to stay at home and raise a family and be a homemaker than so be it.
Where in that idea is the concept that we must take a man down? That we must strip away all that makes him a man and basically castrate him? Now yes I realize that is an extreme but really in some ways I do believe it. We have taken away just about all rituals that men once had. Their rites of passage so to speak, as a woman I still have mine. I still get my period that marks the beginning of my transition from girl to woman. I still have the ritual of childbearing, should I choose to and I still make time for “girly” things. I am fortunate that I have a strong group of females in my life that I can be a woman with, weather that means having a sewing session or bitching about men over tea. I have my girls; I go through the ritual of being a woman daily. What do men have? Ages ago a father would take his son hunting to mark his transition from boy to man. He would have taken his son to a tournament or something violent. It is not my idea of fun but men are more physically aggressive typically than women. Our aggression is more subtle and manipulative because yes we are.
So this thought brings me back to the rockabilly subculture. The image of men working on heavy metal cars or riding their bikes dressed in leather, I can see how that would appeal to the men of today. The music is basic, there is not a lot of pretence to it but it has a strong bass beat. The lyrics, that I have heard, talk about cars, going out with your gal, having some beers, fighting and just looking for a good time. They are simple to say the least. But the image they bring forth is one of a guy actually being allowed to revel in his masculinity without being considered a mindless jerk. As far as I am considered a jerk is not a man and any real man will agree with that statement.
What I find confusing and a double standard is that as women we are allowed and expect to keep that little things that make us unique as woman and may the Gods help the man that tries to take it away from us, for example the out cry we did when it was suggested that we could not breast feed in public. But we are allowed and expect to get away with stripping all the little things that makes being a man unique, how is that fair?
Also in reality women need to be more honest because I personally want to be with a man not a reasonable facsimile. Perhaps it would help if I describe what masculine means. Well by definition in the dictionary it is “pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men; having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness.” My personal definition is someone that is protective, caring, understands or at least tries to. A man to me is someone that will help those that need assistance not for personal gain but because it is the right thing to do. A man is someone that can laugh at him self and play but can be serious and take care of things when needed. A man is someone that can be more aggressive but not cruel. I do not, and most women I know do not, want to be with a man they can hang out with on girl’s day out and do girl talk with. That is why we have girlfriends. We want a man that is opposite to us and complimentary at the same time. So if so many women want this why is it still such a taboo thing to be a masculine man?
Agree or disagree with me that is fine, tell me why?
Note - sorry for those of you on myspace for the double post but I would really like feedback and I have other friends on that site that are not on livejournal and vise versa.