(no subject)
So, I don't know.
I've been feeling pretty disconnected from my friends lately. I know I've been working, and right now, I'm in the start of a 9 day week, but I still don't hardly even talk to any of them anymore. I can't remember the last time I've been this tired, and had so many problems sleeping. You'd think after working 8 straight hours, I'd be able to come home at 730, 8 in the morning and pass the fuck out, but noooooooooo. Have to stay up till 1, 2, sometimes as late as 4 in the afternoon, just to have to go back at 11, 1130. Sometimes 1030, for those 10 hour shifts.
I went out with Katie, Kaffin, Ellen and Tammeh the other day, to some haunted houses. It was pretty fun. We had a blast.
Kevin's still not home. Who knows when he'll be. I wish I had the money to go see him. Maybe, if he isn't home for good by my birthday. I'll go spend it with him in Texas. I kept telling myself that it was gonna get easier not having him around all the time..but it never did, and it all caught up to me at once. It was like, wow. Am I ever gonna get to see him again? Am I ever going to get to feel the security of his arms around me again? Am I ever going to come out of this? Its like, he gave me the reason I needed to keep going on, and now that he's not here, I just don't care anymore. Maybe when he gets home..for good, not just the holidays...He means everything and more to me, and not having here...I feel like I'm being ripped apart inside. I feel helpless. And I can't stand it. And after what he told me his sergent told him the other day, I wish he was here, so that he didn't have to put up with that shit. It isn't fair. We had talked so much about plans to get out. Then they all fell apart. My heart has never hurt this bad, and I've never felt so empty and painful inside. He really does complete me...
I've been feeling pretty disconnected from my friends lately. I know I've been working, and right now, I'm in the start of a 9 day week, but I still don't hardly even talk to any of them anymore. I can't remember the last time I've been this tired, and had so many problems sleeping. You'd think after working 8 straight hours, I'd be able to come home at 730, 8 in the morning and pass the fuck out, but noooooooooo. Have to stay up till 1, 2, sometimes as late as 4 in the afternoon, just to have to go back at 11, 1130. Sometimes 1030, for those 10 hour shifts.
I went out with Katie, Kaffin, Ellen and Tammeh the other day, to some haunted houses. It was pretty fun. We had a blast.
Kevin's still not home. Who knows when he'll be. I wish I had the money to go see him. Maybe, if he isn't home for good by my birthday. I'll go spend it with him in Texas. I kept telling myself that it was gonna get easier not having him around all the time..but it never did, and it all caught up to me at once. It was like, wow. Am I ever gonna get to see him again? Am I ever going to get to feel the security of his arms around me again? Am I ever going to come out of this? Its like, he gave me the reason I needed to keep going on, and now that he's not here, I just don't care anymore. Maybe when he gets home..for good, not just the holidays...He means everything and more to me, and not having here...I feel like I'm being ripped apart inside. I feel helpless. And I can't stand it. And after what he told me his sergent told him the other day, I wish he was here, so that he didn't have to put up with that shit. It isn't fair. We had talked so much about plans to get out. Then they all fell apart. My heart has never hurt this bad, and I've never felt so empty and painful inside. He really does complete me...