this place is a prison, these people aren't my friends...
i feel bad. I feel incredibly lonely and rejected. Colleen is in her room and ignores me when i knock on her door. She has friends over and she has that she had a bad day on her board. I can't figure out if she's avoiding me..if i'm too much of a nag...if i'm just not that kind of friend.
i feel less of a person when i reflect on this whole carlow experience. it didn't work out at all the way i thought it wiul. i can't take it anymore and i'm too unsure of myself to really understand what's going on. i'm starting to belive that i'm just the throw away friend...i can't connect with anyone here and i can come in and go out of friendship so easily that i can easily forget people. i guess tht's the only up side. I'm leaving in about a month. I really have no reason to come back here.
plan: make peace, not friends...be nice and get rid af attatchment to all new friends.
i feel less of a person when i reflect on this whole carlow experience. it didn't work out at all the way i thought it wiul. i can't take it anymore and i'm too unsure of myself to really understand what's going on. i'm starting to belive that i'm just the throw away friend...i can't connect with anyone here and i can come in and go out of friendship so easily that i can easily forget people. i guess tht's the only up side. I'm leaving in about a month. I really have no reason to come back here.
plan: make peace, not friends...be nice and get rid af attatchment to all new friends.