Burning Light and Dark - fiction post
Title: Burning Light and Dark
Author: Celtic_Forest
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Spoiler: for In My Time of Dying
I don't own the characters and make no money (too true).
Summary: What did it feel like to build their father's funeral pyre?
The heat of the pyre could not dry the tears from Sam's face.
Sam and Dean cut and gathered the wood for the fire.
Sam had resented the lifestyle his father inflicted. They had always clashed wills. Sam had even begun a fight the day Dad died, but Dad had stopped it, rejecting anger on that day. In the end, Sam realized his father had loved him. It was in Dad's concern for him (to which Sam had long blinded himself), in the way Dad had, incredibly, bragged about him to friends, it was even in their fighting - could two people evoke such strong emotions if they didn't care? He was surprised to find the belief in his heart that Dad would have sacrificed himself for Sam just as he had actually done for Dean.
They built a strong platform that would not give way to the flames too soon.
Even as a child, Dean had tried to take Dad's burden on his own shoulders. When Dad was hurt, Dean felt it himself (though he was nearly an adult before his own body bore such wounds). Each injury, each failed hunt, each time Dad was driven by another kind of demon to drunkenness, Dean felt as his own failure. If he was better, or helped more, then everything would be all right; a conviction that only intensified as he grew in age and skill. Now he bore the guilt for his father's deal for death. He would not let it crush him, though; he had to stay whole for Sammy. For Sam he would try to believe the unfathomable, that Dad could have loved him so much as to give him his life.
They wrapped their Father's body in a white linen burial shroud.
He looked peaceful, and his sons realized that within their memories he had never been at peace. Not waking or sleeping, not when a hunt was successful, not when he had a new credit card and knew his boys would have food and a roof for a while longer. John's heart was broken on the horrible night his sons lost their mother to flames, the night Dean desperately protected his baby brother as his father ordered.
They watched as flames took their Father's body.
The father who had forged them, given them strength but at great cost, and who taught them that innocent people must be protected. Sam cried as he realized that in a way he had loved Dad through it all, even when he hated him, even when he needed more than Dad could give. Dean grieved the loss of the superhero he had for so long believed his father to be, but he was beginning to learn about hate for him as well. In instructing Dean that he may have to kill Sam, Dad had finally crossed a line Dean could not forgive.
Dean lied to Sam about Dad's last words, and shed a solitary tear.
Author: Celtic_Forest
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Spoiler: for In My Time of Dying
I don't own the characters and make no money (too true).
Summary: What did it feel like to build their father's funeral pyre?
The heat of the pyre could not dry the tears from Sam's face.
Sam and Dean cut and gathered the wood for the fire.
Sam had resented the lifestyle his father inflicted. They had always clashed wills. Sam had even begun a fight the day Dad died, but Dad had stopped it, rejecting anger on that day. In the end, Sam realized his father had loved him. It was in Dad's concern for him (to which Sam had long blinded himself), in the way Dad had, incredibly, bragged about him to friends, it was even in their fighting - could two people evoke such strong emotions if they didn't care? He was surprised to find the belief in his heart that Dad would have sacrificed himself for Sam just as he had actually done for Dean.
They built a strong platform that would not give way to the flames too soon.
Even as a child, Dean had tried to take Dad's burden on his own shoulders. When Dad was hurt, Dean felt it himself (though he was nearly an adult before his own body bore such wounds). Each injury, each failed hunt, each time Dad was driven by another kind of demon to drunkenness, Dean felt as his own failure. If he was better, or helped more, then everything would be all right; a conviction that only intensified as he grew in age and skill. Now he bore the guilt for his father's deal for death. He would not let it crush him, though; he had to stay whole for Sammy. For Sam he would try to believe the unfathomable, that Dad could have loved him so much as to give him his life.
They wrapped their Father's body in a white linen burial shroud.
He looked peaceful, and his sons realized that within their memories he had never been at peace. Not waking or sleeping, not when a hunt was successful, not when he had a new credit card and knew his boys would have food and a roof for a while longer. John's heart was broken on the horrible night his sons lost their mother to flames, the night Dean desperately protected his baby brother as his father ordered.
They watched as flames took their Father's body.
The father who had forged them, given them strength but at great cost, and who taught them that innocent people must be protected. Sam cried as he realized that in a way he had loved Dad through it all, even when he hated him, even when he needed more than Dad could give. Dean grieved the loss of the superhero he had for so long believed his father to be, but he was beginning to learn about hate for him as well. In instructing Dean that he may have to kill Sam, Dad had finally crossed a line Dean could not forgive.
Dean lied to Sam about Dad's last words, and shed a solitary tear.