(no subject)
I am pretty upset right now, so I am using this space as a rant, hopefully to make me feel better. For those who did not know this, my mom went into surgery today to replace a hip. Not a bad surgery, but something I still wish I could be around for moral support for. I was to get a phone call after she got out. Apparently, she didnt go in until 4:30, so I got a call at 6 something to tell me this from my grandmother. When I get this call, I am lost in downtown long beach in the rain with Amy, looking for the road back to campus (different story, funnier then the rant, ask me later), so I ask grandma to call me back after mom gets out, hopefully between 8:30 and 9:30. At 9, they were hosting bingo in the dining hall again, and a big group of us go. I take my phone and have it out on the table so I can hear it ring. Of course, when it rings, it is pretty quiet, so I grab it and race outside to be able to hear, and of course, it goes to voice mail as I accept the call.
I tried at this point looking up the missed call number and calling it. No answer and no voice mail on the phone, it only says she can not be reached. I try again, and as I call, I hear a beeping. I think, oh crap, that was them leaving a message. I get the message, hear my grandmother sounding all pissed off at me for not answering my phone, and hear my mothers voice, so I guess she is okay. I try calling the phone 5 more times. She never answers. I made the other calls to tell my dad and sis that I guess my mom is okay, but I am still really hurt by the fact that my grandmother sounded upset with me, when I couldnt control the fact that I was in a loud building, couldnt hear the phone, then couldnt answer it fast enough. I really wanted to know that everything was okay, but she wouldnt answer the phone. It may not seem like a big thing, but when a parent goes into surgery, and you worry all day cause you thought it was going to be early in the day, and you dont hear anything for a long time, then feel like you are dissed on because you are not fast enough, it really sucks. At the moment, I am alone, because I am still pretty upset and dont want to depress my friends, plus I am trying to finish some homework, but I really needed a place to rant and stuff. I know that tomorrow, this will all feel better, but right now, I am so hurt and so sad that I couldnt talk to my mom. It may sound stupid, but I really dont care. Between the stress of upcoming finals, last papers, and a crapload of mini projects, no one has any right to be upset with me, and its not like I didnt want to talk to her, I TRIED. I am so pissed off and upset that I cant even enjoy the fact that I managed to win bingo for the second time, a gift card for starbucks. Wish me luck with the rest of the semester, and pray that my mom is doing well, since I didnt get to talk to her tonight.
I tried at this point looking up the missed call number and calling it. No answer and no voice mail on the phone, it only says she can not be reached. I try again, and as I call, I hear a beeping. I think, oh crap, that was them leaving a message. I get the message, hear my grandmother sounding all pissed off at me for not answering my phone, and hear my mothers voice, so I guess she is okay. I try calling the phone 5 more times. She never answers. I made the other calls to tell my dad and sis that I guess my mom is okay, but I am still really hurt by the fact that my grandmother sounded upset with me, when I couldnt control the fact that I was in a loud building, couldnt hear the phone, then couldnt answer it fast enough. I really wanted to know that everything was okay, but she wouldnt answer the phone. It may not seem like a big thing, but when a parent goes into surgery, and you worry all day cause you thought it was going to be early in the day, and you dont hear anything for a long time, then feel like you are dissed on because you are not fast enough, it really sucks. At the moment, I am alone, because I am still pretty upset and dont want to depress my friends, plus I am trying to finish some homework, but I really needed a place to rant and stuff. I know that tomorrow, this will all feel better, but right now, I am so hurt and so sad that I couldnt talk to my mom. It may sound stupid, but I really dont care. Between the stress of upcoming finals, last papers, and a crapload of mini projects, no one has any right to be upset with me, and its not like I didnt want to talk to her, I TRIED. I am so pissed off and upset that I cant even enjoy the fact that I managed to win bingo for the second time, a gift card for starbucks. Wish me luck with the rest of the semester, and pray that my mom is doing well, since I didnt get to talk to her tonight.