daf bit: Moed Katan 23
Our rabbis taught: during the first week (after a burial) a mourner does
not go out of his house; during the second week he goes out but does not
sit in his usual place in the synagogue; during the third week he sits in
his usual place but does not speak; and in the fourth week he is like any
other person. (R. Yehudah says these are all shifted a week, so he is not
as any other person until the fifth week.) For the first 30 days the mourner
may not take a wife. If his wife died, he is forbidden to take another until
three festivals have passed (R. Yehudah says two festivals). But if he
has no children he may take a wife immediately so he does not delay
fulfillment of the mitzvah of p'ru ur'vu (be fruitful and multiply).
And if his wife left him with little children, he is allowed to take a
wife immediately so she can take care of them. It once happened that the
wife of Yosef ha-Kohein died and on the burial ground he said to her sister:
go and take care of your sister's children, but he did not consumate the
marriage until after thirty days. (23a)
It's not clear from the g'mara, or at least my edition's notes, whether the "get a wife to take care of your kids" exception is because of nursing (I don't know how nurse-maids worked then; couldn't you hire out for that?) or because the idea of a man taking care of his kids in the absence of a wife is considered bad.
(Today's daf is 24.)
It's not clear from the g'mara, or at least my edition's notes, whether the "get a wife to take care of your kids" exception is because of nursing (I don't know how nurse-maids worked then; couldn't you hire out for that?) or because the idea of a man taking care of his kids in the absence of a wife is considered bad.
(Today's daf is 24.)