never again
hello livejournal world
today is spring day and ive got nothing better to do than to update my livejournal? ugh. spring day is supposed to be a day when you go out, have fun, start drinking at 9am and dont stop all day lol, and most importantly...be with friends...
so the semester is almost over and in a way i am kind of glad but not at the same time...im not looking forward to going back to 50+ hour work weeks, but it will be nice to be able to see my 4 best friends in the entire world a little more often (and to make a crapload of money). i'm not going to lie...I AM LONELY HERE AT BENTLEY. gahhh thats hard for me to admit, because i dont want to sound like im complaining. i love bentley but at the same time hate paying 41,000 bucks a year for not much of a social life. and hoplessley pursuing another emotionally unavailable guy, again in my life...soooo old. dont get me wrong, i do have friends here. but im nobodys BEST friend...theres no one here like a kim, steph, ariane, or kelsey. i love you girls <3. its still hard to deal with that i cant find anyone as awesome as them here. but when you dont have that best friend to fall back on at school when you are at school, it is hard. because for my friends here, theres always someone else they are hanging out with, they have their BEST friend...and that just leaves me. and its one thing to just say "go out and try and make new friends" and i have tried that...i joined the frisbee team and had a little bit of fun but then couldnt go to the last tournament and i never felt like any of those girls really liked me...they too, had all kind of been friends with each other before i came along. but needless to say ill try the frisbee thing out next semester again. i also joined colleges against cancer, which is such a good organization and theres some good people. and im also not one to just invite myself to a party...as there is often one going on im ny common room lol...and its much easier to go out looking for some fun when you have another person with you. so how do i go out meeting people when i dont want to go out alone? this is too complicated.
anyway, last week i did relay for life which by far has been the best saturday of my semester so far. 15 hours of hanging outside on a beautiful night and walking for a good cause. and at an event like that, there were lots of friends there, and not people who i necessarily ever hang out with, but easy enough to say "hey lets walk a lap together". it was great because we were all there for that one purpose and everyone seemed in a good mood and it was just...fun. there were a couple moments from that that i wish had lasted a longggg time...but yeah.
so now im about to head down to lower campus, by myself, and get a burger...because if i wanna eat...thats the only place to eat on campus today. and hey, maybe well im down there ill see somebody i know. i cant say that this spring day was worse than last spring day (that, unfortunately, was a bad day as well...) until i go down and check it out.
someday this phase will be over.
today is spring day and ive got nothing better to do than to update my livejournal? ugh. spring day is supposed to be a day when you go out, have fun, start drinking at 9am and dont stop all day lol, and most importantly...be with friends...
so the semester is almost over and in a way i am kind of glad but not at the same time...im not looking forward to going back to 50+ hour work weeks, but it will be nice to be able to see my 4 best friends in the entire world a little more often (and to make a crapload of money). i'm not going to lie...I AM LONELY HERE AT BENTLEY. gahhh thats hard for me to admit, because i dont want to sound like im complaining. i love bentley but at the same time hate paying 41,000 bucks a year for not much of a social life. and hoplessley pursuing another emotionally unavailable guy, again in my life...soooo old. dont get me wrong, i do have friends here. but im nobodys BEST friend...theres no one here like a kim, steph, ariane, or kelsey. i love you girls <3. its still hard to deal with that i cant find anyone as awesome as them here. but when you dont have that best friend to fall back on at school when you are at school, it is hard. because for my friends here, theres always someone else they are hanging out with, they have their BEST friend...and that just leaves me. and its one thing to just say "go out and try and make new friends" and i have tried that...i joined the frisbee team and had a little bit of fun but then couldnt go to the last tournament and i never felt like any of those girls really liked me...they too, had all kind of been friends with each other before i came along. but needless to say ill try the frisbee thing out next semester again. i also joined colleges against cancer, which is such a good organization and theres some good people. and im also not one to just invite myself to a party...as there is often one going on im ny common room lol...and its much easier to go out looking for some fun when you have another person with you. so how do i go out meeting people when i dont want to go out alone? this is too complicated.
anyway, last week i did relay for life which by far has been the best saturday of my semester so far. 15 hours of hanging outside on a beautiful night and walking for a good cause. and at an event like that, there were lots of friends there, and not people who i necessarily ever hang out with, but easy enough to say "hey lets walk a lap together". it was great because we were all there for that one purpose and everyone seemed in a good mood and it was just...fun. there were a couple moments from that that i wish had lasted a longggg time...but yeah.
so now im about to head down to lower campus, by myself, and get a burger...because if i wanna eat...thats the only place to eat on campus today. and hey, maybe well im down there ill see somebody i know. i cant say that this spring day was worse than last spring day (that, unfortunately, was a bad day as well...) until i go down and check it out.
someday this phase will be over.