welcome to the real world....nobody said it was easy
am i a healthnut workaholic? does not sound like me at all...but i dunno, u can decide...
so on sunday as i was *trying* to drive to market basket to work at 7 am on unplowed streets with an unclear windshield, i kind of had a little mental breakdown and realllly wanted to cry, in face i did a little. needless to say, i called my mom said, "im not goin to work", turned the car right around, and came home. in about 10 minutes i had only gone 2 miles on the snow and ice covered streets, and i finally just lost it and decided that eve though it was a sunday with time and a half, it just wasnt worth the 40 bucks or so to possibly try and kill myself or my car while trying to get to work. so my mom made me pancakes and i had the whole day to just be at home and things were good. but consdiering i havent updated in awhile u may be wondering...whats up with this "little metal breakdown"? well, i will briefly describe my winter "vacation", especially since its just about over...
there are a total of two days this entire break where i have NOT worked. One of those days being Christmas (which was great btw, got a printer for my laptop), the other day was the day after xmas. Oh, and technically i didnt work on sunday but i still had woken up at 6 am and attempted to work. Speaking of which, i have only had one single night the entire vacation where i have gotten more than 7 hours of sleep. I have worked over 50 hours a week each week of "vacation", with my days (including weekends) usually starting at quarter of six, and ending when i get home around 530 (hows that for seasonal affectiveness...i go to work in the dark and come home in the dark)...but then...
what can i say Bentley's food just killed me. I didnt eat more, its just that the food there is junk. I gained some weight. So just about every night after i come home from work, I work out. So far this vacation I've lost about ten pounds. I have every desire to want to continue to work out while at Bentley, and I really hope I can work it in with my schedule and can find the so called work out rooms that are supposedly in some dorms. I also am very scared about eating again at Bentley because the food is so horrible for u, but we shall see. I just hope my weigt continues to go down, im finally starting to like how i look a little again. except for my hair, but its getting cut on thursday...
so that wasnt in brief but basically somehow in my vacation i managed to work over 50 hours a week every week, eat healthy (with the occasional low-fat ice cream), lose about 10 pounds, work out, see a lot of my friends, do my study abroad application, celebrate two holidays, go to a few parties, and update this livejournal, lol. im tired just thinking about what i just wrote.
so anyway, i guess u can see why i may have lost it a little. I am overtired, i mean who looks forward to going back to college because they know they will be able to finally get some sleep? and i mean i do have the hugest fear of being in debt, like HUGE, and i am a little money oriented, but no one is telling me to work LESS. I even said NO to working nights at market basket this break (but my boss saw that as the opportunity to give me 9 hour shifts on the weekends) and i figured out that at the end of this year, between all 3 jobs i had, i technically made 5 figures. hehe that technically could be anywhere between 10,000 dollars and 99,999 dollars, but still to be a full time highschool/college student and make over 10000 bucks in a year and still have thousands of dollars of debt looming over ur head is realllly disheartening to me, and kind of like WHOA, i worked a lot and ummm bentley just costs too much, hehe.
so now, with one week of "vacation" left, i think after this month, taking 6 classes next semester and planning to hopefully go to Spain in the fall wont be too difficult, if i can handle all this. But Spain is far off an another story...what am i going to eat, and worse off...i wont be making any money over there and will quickly go broke...aye aye aye, this is the first of many "vacations" like this one.
I'm only 18. I dont wanna be in the real world and work all the time yet. But i also dont know how to say no, and want to please everyone. aye aye aye.
Life, is a vicious cycle....i guess I'm a little confused about how to go about things right now.
why cant i be like sooo many of my classmates and actually go on vacation during vacation? :(
so sorry, this may seem a bot bitch or odd or whatever, and im sure theres plenty of other bentley kids like me who worked their tails off over break, but it took a snow storm some icy roads and me just wanting to cry to say screw the money im going home and going to be safe and carefree...i just havent been thinking of the truly important enough things lately...oy now im rambling so i will STOP.
the end.
so on sunday as i was *trying* to drive to market basket to work at 7 am on unplowed streets with an unclear windshield, i kind of had a little mental breakdown and realllly wanted to cry, in face i did a little. needless to say, i called my mom said, "im not goin to work", turned the car right around, and came home. in about 10 minutes i had only gone 2 miles on the snow and ice covered streets, and i finally just lost it and decided that eve though it was a sunday with time and a half, it just wasnt worth the 40 bucks or so to possibly try and kill myself or my car while trying to get to work. so my mom made me pancakes and i had the whole day to just be at home and things were good. but consdiering i havent updated in awhile u may be wondering...whats up with this "little metal breakdown"? well, i will briefly describe my winter "vacation", especially since its just about over...
there are a total of two days this entire break where i have NOT worked. One of those days being Christmas (which was great btw, got a printer for my laptop), the other day was the day after xmas. Oh, and technically i didnt work on sunday but i still had woken up at 6 am and attempted to work. Speaking of which, i have only had one single night the entire vacation where i have gotten more than 7 hours of sleep. I have worked over 50 hours a week each week of "vacation", with my days (including weekends) usually starting at quarter of six, and ending when i get home around 530 (hows that for seasonal affectiveness...i go to work in the dark and come home in the dark)...but then...
what can i say Bentley's food just killed me. I didnt eat more, its just that the food there is junk. I gained some weight. So just about every night after i come home from work, I work out. So far this vacation I've lost about ten pounds. I have every desire to want to continue to work out while at Bentley, and I really hope I can work it in with my schedule and can find the so called work out rooms that are supposedly in some dorms. I also am very scared about eating again at Bentley because the food is so horrible for u, but we shall see. I just hope my weigt continues to go down, im finally starting to like how i look a little again. except for my hair, but its getting cut on thursday...
so that wasnt in brief but basically somehow in my vacation i managed to work over 50 hours a week every week, eat healthy (with the occasional low-fat ice cream), lose about 10 pounds, work out, see a lot of my friends, do my study abroad application, celebrate two holidays, go to a few parties, and update this livejournal, lol. im tired just thinking about what i just wrote.
so anyway, i guess u can see why i may have lost it a little. I am overtired, i mean who looks forward to going back to college because they know they will be able to finally get some sleep? and i mean i do have the hugest fear of being in debt, like HUGE, and i am a little money oriented, but no one is telling me to work LESS. I even said NO to working nights at market basket this break (but my boss saw that as the opportunity to give me 9 hour shifts on the weekends) and i figured out that at the end of this year, between all 3 jobs i had, i technically made 5 figures. hehe that technically could be anywhere between 10,000 dollars and 99,999 dollars, but still to be a full time highschool/college student and make over 10000 bucks in a year and still have thousands of dollars of debt looming over ur head is realllly disheartening to me, and kind of like WHOA, i worked a lot and ummm bentley just costs too much, hehe.
so now, with one week of "vacation" left, i think after this month, taking 6 classes next semester and planning to hopefully go to Spain in the fall wont be too difficult, if i can handle all this. But Spain is far off an another story...what am i going to eat, and worse off...i wont be making any money over there and will quickly go broke...aye aye aye, this is the first of many "vacations" like this one.
I'm only 18. I dont wanna be in the real world and work all the time yet. But i also dont know how to say no, and want to please everyone. aye aye aye.
Life, is a vicious cycle....i guess I'm a little confused about how to go about things right now.
why cant i be like sooo many of my classmates and actually go on vacation during vacation? :(
so sorry, this may seem a bot bitch or odd or whatever, and im sure theres plenty of other bentley kids like me who worked their tails off over break, but it took a snow storm some icy roads and me just wanting to cry to say screw the money im going home and going to be safe and carefree...i just havent been thinking of the truly important enough things lately...oy now im rambling so i will STOP.
the end.