February 13, 2009
I am an idiot. I have fallen for another man who is impossibly out of my league. I have fallen for a man who isn't my own age. I have fallen for someone who isn't like me when it comes to interests. Yet, even with the things that make me certain I shouldn't have fallen for him, I have a ping in the pit of my stomach that tells me, without any reservations, I have fallen.
I don't know him very well past my intereactions with him during class; interactions which may very well push him further out of my league. I value things that he certainly respects, but I don't believe values as much. Though, with his educational record in mind, he very well may. I am someone who, while not invisable, certainly isn't someone he would attempt to socialize with outside of the required interactions of classes. One of the issues I face is what must I do to remove the thoughts, that have made my concentration on classwork and schooling fleating at best?
I am sure writing about the problem in my journal is not the way to go, but I feel I must get the thoughts down before I can remove them. Yet, I find that the idea of removing my thoughts of him out of my mind is something I don't know that I am willing to do.
I don't know him very well past my intereactions with him during class; interactions which may very well push him further out of my league. I value things that he certainly respects, but I don't believe values as much. Though, with his educational record in mind, he very well may. I am someone who, while not invisable, certainly isn't someone he would attempt to socialize with outside of the required interactions of classes. One of the issues I face is what must I do to remove the thoughts, that have made my concentration on classwork and schooling fleating at best?
I am sure writing about the problem in my journal is not the way to go, but I feel I must get the thoughts down before I can remove them. Yet, I find that the idea of removing my thoughts of him out of my mind is something I don't know that I am willing to do.