I Left My Head In San Francesco
The indentions of my fingertips locked with hers, irrefutable proof that we were meant to be. A perfect alignment of ridges, locking our hands as tight as our bond - Missy Climpraxtomy and I were as right as spring rain. If forever was a kiss, mine would have cashed the check when our lips first touched - it was almost as good as our hand holding, which I just talked about.
But things didn't really work out. I've never broken up with a girl - maybe its the gentleman in me - but Missy thought I cared too much...about her and as she puts it, the little things. Why would a waiter address her first when I am clearly the one paying for everything? I had a 25 dollar gift card to Chili's and purposely made her cut her order short so we would have 2-3 dollars left for a tip. I gave him the gift card and told him to 'keep the change'. He probably gets 10 percent off his meals there anyway, so it seems like a hell of a deal.
Okay, it seems like bad form to justify an already weak excuse, but if the guy got a half-order of fajitas it costs him like 12 bucks. His discount puts it around ten, add my gift card onto it and he gets a very satisfying mean for around 7 dollars. Missy seems to think I'm the biggest tool box in the shed. But you know what? I think she's the fattest ass in the shack. All of a sudden we're broken up, and I have no place to go despite the apartment lease being under my name.
I'm going to have to look into this, but I don't think she can legally hold me to promises made while dick-in-mouth, as its technically foreplay and instigates legitimacy...sorry, intimacy issues with the third party...no, I don't understand. I said intimacy but they typed legitimacy. In the last several hours I've been issued a lawyer 'for my own good' which seems about the best you can get, especially for what I'm paying. I don't quite get why I'm being sued, but apparently the...okay, this is just silly...the APARTMENT COMPLEX - of all things - is claiming breach of contract and suing me for all I'm worth...in this case, the 11 months I wasn't planning on paying of Missy and I's lease.
You know what? This makes me sound just so silly and I'll get back to you when I've got all my fucks in a row.
Sincerely,
William Bixler
But things didn't really work out. I've never broken up with a girl - maybe its the gentleman in me - but Missy thought I cared too much...about her and as she puts it, the little things. Why would a waiter address her first when I am clearly the one paying for everything? I had a 25 dollar gift card to Chili's and purposely made her cut her order short so we would have 2-3 dollars left for a tip. I gave him the gift card and told him to 'keep the change'. He probably gets 10 percent off his meals there anyway, so it seems like a hell of a deal.
Okay, it seems like bad form to justify an already weak excuse, but if the guy got a half-order of fajitas it costs him like 12 bucks. His discount puts it around ten, add my gift card onto it and he gets a very satisfying mean for around 7 dollars. Missy seems to think I'm the biggest tool box in the shed. But you know what? I think she's the fattest ass in the shack. All of a sudden we're broken up, and I have no place to go despite the apartment lease being under my name.
I'm going to have to look into this, but I don't think she can legally hold me to promises made while dick-in-mouth, as its technically foreplay and instigates legitimacy...sorry, intimacy issues with the third party...no, I don't understand. I said intimacy but they typed legitimacy. In the last several hours I've been issued a lawyer 'for my own good' which seems about the best you can get, especially for what I'm paying. I don't quite get why I'm being sued, but apparently the...okay, this is just silly...the APARTMENT COMPLEX - of all things - is claiming breach of contract and suing me for all I'm worth...in this case, the 11 months I wasn't planning on paying of Missy and I's lease.
You know what? This makes me sound just so silly and I'll get back to you when I've got all my fucks in a row.
Sincerely,
William Bixler