i'm enjoying this cautiously.
i once thought of how much improvement my life needed. i contemplated the many situations i could spare myself if such changes occurred. i've been entirely selfish. not only did i base my thoughts on what i wanted, but on how or to what extent it would benefit me. i also have been making very poor decisions. my current being is the exact opposite of what i claimed i would never turn into. then again, it was completely naive of me to say such things...especially through high-school. i just want to apologize for my actions. not only do i apologize to those who i've hurt because of my recklessness, but i also apologize to those who once had faith in me. i didn't have self-respect. i didn't have self-control. i was delirious. of course now that i've done everything and have seen it from a personal perspective i plan to change my ways. that's the way it goes, you have to experience it for you to truly understand the complexities of the situation. that's how it was for me. only my closest friends and myself know how hard i'm working on trying to improve. i am, gradually. not saying that i will never do the things i've done, because that would be hypocritical in every way. i will do it...sooner or later. what i am working on is that i have learned my priorities and i plan on living up to the potential that many see in me. the potential that i see in myself. the distractions and leisure time will always be there, but the time to find myself will not. i've learned that the most essential things in my life are my family and friends. they're all i need, and all i ever will need. people will have their doubts, i sure as hell do. but i can do it, i am doing it, and i will be a better version of myself. just you wait and see :)