A remedy is what I'm seeking...
"In life only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes: No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You are going to hurt people. You are going to get hurt." - Grey's Anatomy
I really like Grey's Anatomy. Not just because it's a medical drama, but also I can relate to a lot of the characters and situations. Yes, I do think I'm dark and twisty like Meredith. Well, anyway...there's an episode of Grey's Anatomy..it's usually referred to as "The Bomb Episode". There's a scene in it where a paramedic has her hand in a patient trying to keep a bomb [which he implanted in himself..weird] still, so it doesn't go off. Which would turn everyone in the OR into "pink mist", and probably destroy the surgical wing. So anyway, this paramedic freaks out at one point and quickly removes her hand from the patient and runs away..while Dr. Meredith Grey is putting her hand into the patient to hold the bomb steady. She starts to mumble to herself "What did I do? What did I do?" Yeah..that pretty much describes how I feel right now. Not exactly, but close enough.
I guess instead of a bomb, you can say I'm holding a gun. Because I still have complete control over the situation [as far as I know]. Well, not completely control, but there are things I can do. I'm just so afraid of the result. So I'm torn. I've been torn. For four years. Yes, I've been holding this metaphorical gun for four years [yes, Kristin, I know you know what I'm talking about]. I'm just sick of it. Yes, there are times I forget out it or ignore it or whatever. But I think its time to finally pull the trigger, and hope for the best.
I really like Grey's Anatomy. Not just because it's a medical drama, but also I can relate to a lot of the characters and situations. Yes, I do think I'm dark and twisty like Meredith. Well, anyway...there's an episode of Grey's Anatomy..it's usually referred to as "The Bomb Episode". There's a scene in it where a paramedic has her hand in a patient trying to keep a bomb [which he implanted in himself..weird] still, so it doesn't go off. Which would turn everyone in the OR into "pink mist", and probably destroy the surgical wing. So anyway, this paramedic freaks out at one point and quickly removes her hand from the patient and runs away..while Dr. Meredith Grey is putting her hand into the patient to hold the bomb steady. She starts to mumble to herself "What did I do? What did I do?" Yeah..that pretty much describes how I feel right now. Not exactly, but close enough.
I guess instead of a bomb, you can say I'm holding a gun. Because I still have complete control over the situation [as far as I know]. Well, not completely control, but there are things I can do. I'm just so afraid of the result. So I'm torn. I've been torn. For four years. Yes, I've been holding this metaphorical gun for four years [yes, Kristin, I know you know what I'm talking about]. I'm just sick of it. Yes, there are times I forget out it or ignore it or whatever. But I think its time to finally pull the trigger, and hope for the best.