Answer Me!
Author: CeliaLauna
Title: Answer Me!
Rating: T for language, I guess…
Pairings: Choy, Troyella
Thanks: Thanks to my wonderful beta, phoebenpiper. She rocks! Also, thanks for the extra input.
Disclaimer: I don’t own it. What did you thought, honestly?
Notes: OneShot, Songfic to “Answer Me” from Milk Inc.
Summary: I’m sick of that dirty game Troy keeps playing. He keeps on lying, to Gabriella, to me, and to himself. But I want an answer. And I mean now.
** Answer Me! **
I know you've been trying to
Conceal you've been lying but
I can't keep on buying so
I've got a question
I've got a question
I'm lying on my bed, staring at the white ceiling while I'm trying to clear my mind, which doesn't wanna work at all. I'm sick of it, so sick. Troy's starting to annoy the hell out of me! He's supposed to love me. He has always loved me. Me, Chad Danforth, his best friend since preschool, and not the new girl who turned the school upside down. It's not that I hate Gabriella, it's that she stole Troy away from me. Sort of. Not that I blame her, it's all Troy's fault. Troy with his attempts to keep everything hidden. I'm sick of it, so fucking sick!
I've got this impression that
You've got this obsession so
It's time for your confession
I've got a question
I've got a question
It has become a game for him. I can't describe it otherwise. Between classes being a sap with Gabriella, but after school and basketball practice dragging me to his room. During the day Troy and Gabriella are “The Golden Couple”; at night Troy and I are fuck buddies. There is no other way to describe it.
It's not that he doesn't love me anymore; it's that he isn't in love with me any longer. But instead of saying that straight to my face, he keeps sneaking around and lying. There is no meaning any longer in the words “I love you”, and when he speaks those words out loud, you can't see any emotions in his eyes. He says it because he has always said it. He just sees me again as his best friend, if not even less. But he doesn't dare look me in the eyes; he hasn't got the guts.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I hear my Mom screaming from downstairs. Troy is here, standing with his old truck in front of the house. She says he has been there for five minutes already. I know I'm letting him wait for more then ten minutes, but I'm still not planning to hurry. But when I hear the horn through the street again, I decide I better get up, anyway. Before I go downstairs, I pass by the bathroom to throw some cold water in my face. I really can't go downstairs showing off my depressive face. Otherwise both Troy and Mom would start asking questions. And I really don’t feel like that. I want to get some answers, not give them by myself.
I walk fast through the kitchen, give my Mom a fast kiss on the cheek, grab my lunch and put it in my backpack while I’m walking out of the hall. Out the door, over the drive, taking one last deep breath before being stuck next to Troy for fifteen minutes in his truck with some stupid morning-program on the radio because the CD-player hasn’t been repaired yet.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
“Hi,” I say when I get in the car. I put my backpack between my feet and I force a smile on that is so fake that Ms. Darbus would faint.
“Hi,” Troy answers. He sounds worried, probably because of the tone of my voice; otherwise he’s just able to look through my mask.
Anyway. “How are you?” he asks.
I shrug. “Alright, I guess.”
I sound bitter. Sarcastic, maybe, without wanting to. Ice-cold, too; Sharpay wouldn’t even be able to come near at this moment. But I don’t care; Troy will just have to deal with it. After all, it is his own fault. If he wouldn’t have played such a low, dirty game, this all wouldn’t have happened. But, guess what? He does play that low. So he’ll just have to deal with my bad mood.
Lately I’ve detected that
We've been disconnected and
I feel disrespected
I've got a question
I've got a question
“Whoa, got up on the wrong side of the bed?” he teases. It's supposed to be funny. How… typical. Always joking around to lighten the mood, and then it isn’t even funny. I make a face and give him a glare that makes him shut up. That’s why it's silent for the next ten minutes. When we’re almost at school, he gives it a shot anyway.
“Chad, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I repeat his question. “What’s wrong? Seriously Troy, what do you think is wrong?” As soon as I see his not-understanding look, I decide to be clearer. But that doesn’t mean less rude. “Is your brain really that much harmed by the Freaky Math Girl? You really would think you'd grow more brain cells, considering how much time you spend with her.”
Alright, hard. Really hard. I know that, too. But now, our “Golden Boy” is starting to think of something. Finally.
“Gabriella? Is that what this is about?”
I sight. “No, Troy, I’m talking about Sharpay,” I say sarcastically. “You know, Sharpay Evans, the girl with the blonde hair and brown eyes, the Drama Queen of all East High?” I look up. “Yes, of course am I talking about Gabriella, Troy. Who else?”
Troy turns silent again. After a few minutes he reacts again. “I don’t get it.”
I shoot him a look of disbelief. “You don’t get it? You have no clue what I’m talking about?” In the meantime, we’ve arrived at the parking lot. “Think about it, Troy. Maybe you’ll figure something out.” Troy has parked his truck, but before he’s able to turn of the engine, I get out of the truck.
I've got this impression that
You've got this obsession so
It's time for your confession
I've got a question
I've got a question
I walk through the corridor of East High with hurried footsteps. I feel insulted. Is he acting dumb, or does he really have no clue? I don’t know, but he’s a jerk either way. He has gone too far across the line, and he doesn’t even realize it! I doubt he even knows what he’s doing by now. It's merely an obsession to him when all the while, he already has every kind of attention he possibly can get.
But he’ll have to chose, I’m afraid. Gabriella or me. The question is: who? Who will he chose? Until last Christmas, I was so sure that I would always be number one for him, but right now, I don’t know anymore. But I still want an answer.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I keep walking fast until I arrive at Ms. Darbus's classroom. I slip into my seat and drop my backpack not exactly quietly on the floor next to me. Zeke, who’s sitting behind me, gives me a weird look. “What!?” I snap, and he quickly looks down at his desk. Now Gabriella and Taylor are giving me some weird looks, too. Not that I’m planning on reacting. Certainly not to Gabriella. Even though it isn’t her fault.
The classroom is starting to get full, and everyone keeps staring to me. Every individual who enters the room immediately looks at me. Do I have a sign saying ‘Stare at me!’ on it? God, I’m not Sharpay! I ignore them, or at least I try to, but every glance in my direction makes me irritated and it's getting on my nerves. But no one dares say a single word. And when Troy enters, he refuses to look at me. Even better.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
He's a liar, that boy. All he does is lie, lie, lie. He lies about me, about Gabriella, about the singing-thing, about everything! He lies about us. Us. That’s what hurts me the most. He can’t even bring himself to look me in the eyes when he’s talking. He can’t even simply say: “it’s over”. No, he keeps on lying.
The question is, why?
Why does our ‘Golden Boy’ lie? Does he have something to lose? Or maybe someone to lose? But who? Me? No, he barely cares about me, it’s always ‘Gabi, Gabi, Gabi’. It's not me he’s lying for. Is it Gabriella, is he scared to lose her? Or is this just all about his stupid pride? I don't think I even want to know.
Mad as I am, I hit my knee against my desk, which makes everyone look up. I slump deeper in my chair, my arms crossed. Troy also looks up, but as soon as I try to catch his gaze, he looks away.
Sneaky, dirty liar.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
As soon as homeroom is over, I get up and try as fast as I can to disappear through the door, but Troy stops me. He places his hand in the middle of my chest. I look at his hand, and then my eyes flash to him. “We need to talk,” he says.
I laugh lightly and non-amused and look at him while shaking my head. Then I sit down on one of the desks and put my feet on the chair, waiting until everyone leaves the room. When there’s nobody left but us two, Troy closes the door and walks over to me, standing right in front of me.
“And?” I ask, immediately with a sarcastic undertone in my voice. “You’ve figured out what I was talking about by now?”
Troy opens his mouth to give an answer, but he shuts it again and shakes his head.
“No. No?” I give him a look of disbelief. “You don’t know? You don't have any idea what you’ve done? You don’t have a clue about what lies and meaningless promises you’ve been telling? You don’t know how you’ve been deceiving your friends?!” I jump off the desk, which makes the chair my feet were just resting on fall down.
Troy stares at me with those big eyes. The eyes I fell in love with, back then. The eyes that were full of disbelief and surprise, instead of lies.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
“You can’t just use me as a fucking toy! You can’t just come back to me every evening after frisking around with someone else!”
I search for more words that can describe how I feel and what is actually wrong, but Troy beats me to it this time.
“What was I supposed to do, dude? Just break up with Gabriella for you? I love you, you know that well enough!”
“No, Troy, I don't!” I’m practically screaming in his face. Now, he doesn’t only look surprised and shocked, but also broken. I sigh and try to soften my voice. “I really don’t know it anymore. What am I suppose to think if you’re always with her, and every time you get the chance, you kiss her. And if you keep ignoring me and every time you’ve got the chance you kiss her, and push me aside?” My voice breaks and I feel tears well up. I fight them back and continue, whispering. “What am I supposed to think then? How am I supposed to know what you feel? How am I supposed to know the truth in this web of lies that you’ve created?”
“Web of lies?” Troy repeats, full of amazement. He seems completely confused by of my explanation.
I nod. “A web of lies. The only thing that keeps us together are lies. The only thing I hear coming out of your mouth, are lies. Lies to me, but also to Gabriella. Lies about us, about you two. Lies about you.” I swallow and cast my eyes down.
When I look up again, I feel how a single tear streams over my cheek. I take a deep breath before I continue: “Troy, be honest for one time and tell me the truth!” I’m almost begging, but my voice sounds hard, which it wasn’t supposed to.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
Troy’s eyes have changed again completely. Now he’s looking at me, full of contempt. “Honest. You want me to be honest? Oh, okay then! I don’t care about you at all, you’re completely unimportant to me, and the only reason I was with you was because you were practically begging at my feet!”
Silence. A cold, horrifying silence. Troy’s breathing heavily and his eyes hard and furious. But then, his eyes become softer and he looks at me with something that can best be described as guilt. “Chad… Chad, I didn’t mean that…”
This time, I feel tears in my eyes that I can’t fight back again and I look down again. It’s too much, I can’t take this any longer. I feel how he puts his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off and look up again, right in Troy’s eyes. I shake my head. “I can’t do this anymore, Troy. It’s too much for me.”
Answer me
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I want to turn around and walk out of the room, but Troy puts his hand on my shoulder again. With his other hand he wipes away a tear, even though there’s another one immediately. And another one. And another one. He pulls me closer and before I realise what’s happening, he has pressed his lips to mine. I’m a bit shocked first, but I refuse to get carried away and I close my eyes while I’m trying to shut everything out. Troy tries to drag a little bit of passion out of me, but I don’t even give a whimper. However, the moment he tries to open my lips with his tongue, there’s something that snaps within me, and I push him away.
Troy stumbles backwards and looks at me once again with those big eyes. “Please, Chad,” he asks, begging. “You want this, you know you want this.” He takes a step towards me and grabs my wrists. “I love you,” he says, his voice thick. “I love you so fucking much, honey, I -”
And once again, there’s something that snaps within me. ‘Honey’. He said ‘honey’. He hasn’t called me that in months.
I can’t take this any longer.
Angry, no, furious, I hit Troy in the face. It’s happened before I realize. He stumbles backwards, bumps into a desk, and falls to the ground.
“It’s over, Troy,” I whisper. “It’s over.”
The answer I wanted that badly. I have it. I’ve given it myself.
I turn around and walk out of the room slamming the door so hard that one of the small windows in the door falls and breaks into a thousand pieces.
Just like my heart.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
Title: Answer Me!
Rating: T for language, I guess…
Pairings: Choy, Troyella
Thanks: Thanks to my wonderful beta, phoebenpiper. She rocks! Also, thanks for the extra input.
Disclaimer: I don’t own it. What did you thought, honestly?
Notes: OneShot, Songfic to “Answer Me” from Milk Inc.
Summary: I’m sick of that dirty game Troy keeps playing. He keeps on lying, to Gabriella, to me, and to himself. But I want an answer. And I mean now.
** Answer Me! **
I know you've been trying to
Conceal you've been lying but
I can't keep on buying so
I've got a question
I've got a question
I'm lying on my bed, staring at the white ceiling while I'm trying to clear my mind, which doesn't wanna work at all. I'm sick of it, so sick. Troy's starting to annoy the hell out of me! He's supposed to love me. He has always loved me. Me, Chad Danforth, his best friend since preschool, and not the new girl who turned the school upside down. It's not that I hate Gabriella, it's that she stole Troy away from me. Sort of. Not that I blame her, it's all Troy's fault. Troy with his attempts to keep everything hidden. I'm sick of it, so fucking sick!
I've got this impression that
You've got this obsession so
It's time for your confession
I've got a question
I've got a question
It has become a game for him. I can't describe it otherwise. Between classes being a sap with Gabriella, but after school and basketball practice dragging me to his room. During the day Troy and Gabriella are “The Golden Couple”; at night Troy and I are fuck buddies. There is no other way to describe it.
It's not that he doesn't love me anymore; it's that he isn't in love with me any longer. But instead of saying that straight to my face, he keeps sneaking around and lying. There is no meaning any longer in the words “I love you”, and when he speaks those words out loud, you can't see any emotions in his eyes. He says it because he has always said it. He just sees me again as his best friend, if not even less. But he doesn't dare look me in the eyes; he hasn't got the guts.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I hear my Mom screaming from downstairs. Troy is here, standing with his old truck in front of the house. She says he has been there for five minutes already. I know I'm letting him wait for more then ten minutes, but I'm still not planning to hurry. But when I hear the horn through the street again, I decide I better get up, anyway. Before I go downstairs, I pass by the bathroom to throw some cold water in my face. I really can't go downstairs showing off my depressive face. Otherwise both Troy and Mom would start asking questions. And I really don’t feel like that. I want to get some answers, not give them by myself.
I walk fast through the kitchen, give my Mom a fast kiss on the cheek, grab my lunch and put it in my backpack while I’m walking out of the hall. Out the door, over the drive, taking one last deep breath before being stuck next to Troy for fifteen minutes in his truck with some stupid morning-program on the radio because the CD-player hasn’t been repaired yet.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
“Hi,” I say when I get in the car. I put my backpack between my feet and I force a smile on that is so fake that Ms. Darbus would faint.
“Hi,” Troy answers. He sounds worried, probably because of the tone of my voice; otherwise he’s just able to look through my mask.
Anyway. “How are you?” he asks.
I shrug. “Alright, I guess.”
I sound bitter. Sarcastic, maybe, without wanting to. Ice-cold, too; Sharpay wouldn’t even be able to come near at this moment. But I don’t care; Troy will just have to deal with it. After all, it is his own fault. If he wouldn’t have played such a low, dirty game, this all wouldn’t have happened. But, guess what? He does play that low. So he’ll just have to deal with my bad mood.
Lately I’ve detected that
We've been disconnected and
I feel disrespected
I've got a question
I've got a question
“Whoa, got up on the wrong side of the bed?” he teases. It's supposed to be funny. How… typical. Always joking around to lighten the mood, and then it isn’t even funny. I make a face and give him a glare that makes him shut up. That’s why it's silent for the next ten minutes. When we’re almost at school, he gives it a shot anyway.
“Chad, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I repeat his question. “What’s wrong? Seriously Troy, what do you think is wrong?” As soon as I see his not-understanding look, I decide to be clearer. But that doesn’t mean less rude. “Is your brain really that much harmed by the Freaky Math Girl? You really would think you'd grow more brain cells, considering how much time you spend with her.”
Alright, hard. Really hard. I know that, too. But now, our “Golden Boy” is starting to think of something. Finally.
“Gabriella? Is that what this is about?”
I sight. “No, Troy, I’m talking about Sharpay,” I say sarcastically. “You know, Sharpay Evans, the girl with the blonde hair and brown eyes, the Drama Queen of all East High?” I look up. “Yes, of course am I talking about Gabriella, Troy. Who else?”
Troy turns silent again. After a few minutes he reacts again. “I don’t get it.”
I shoot him a look of disbelief. “You don’t get it? You have no clue what I’m talking about?” In the meantime, we’ve arrived at the parking lot. “Think about it, Troy. Maybe you’ll figure something out.” Troy has parked his truck, but before he’s able to turn of the engine, I get out of the truck.
I've got this impression that
You've got this obsession so
It's time for your confession
I've got a question
I've got a question
I walk through the corridor of East High with hurried footsteps. I feel insulted. Is he acting dumb, or does he really have no clue? I don’t know, but he’s a jerk either way. He has gone too far across the line, and he doesn’t even realize it! I doubt he even knows what he’s doing by now. It's merely an obsession to him when all the while, he already has every kind of attention he possibly can get.
But he’ll have to chose, I’m afraid. Gabriella or me. The question is: who? Who will he chose? Until last Christmas, I was so sure that I would always be number one for him, but right now, I don’t know anymore. But I still want an answer.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I keep walking fast until I arrive at Ms. Darbus's classroom. I slip into my seat and drop my backpack not exactly quietly on the floor next to me. Zeke, who’s sitting behind me, gives me a weird look. “What!?” I snap, and he quickly looks down at his desk. Now Gabriella and Taylor are giving me some weird looks, too. Not that I’m planning on reacting. Certainly not to Gabriella. Even though it isn’t her fault.
The classroom is starting to get full, and everyone keeps staring to me. Every individual who enters the room immediately looks at me. Do I have a sign saying ‘Stare at me!’ on it? God, I’m not Sharpay! I ignore them, or at least I try to, but every glance in my direction makes me irritated and it's getting on my nerves. But no one dares say a single word. And when Troy enters, he refuses to look at me. Even better.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
He's a liar, that boy. All he does is lie, lie, lie. He lies about me, about Gabriella, about the singing-thing, about everything! He lies about us. Us. That’s what hurts me the most. He can’t even bring himself to look me in the eyes when he’s talking. He can’t even simply say: “it’s over”. No, he keeps on lying.
The question is, why?
Why does our ‘Golden Boy’ lie? Does he have something to lose? Or maybe someone to lose? But who? Me? No, he barely cares about me, it’s always ‘Gabi, Gabi, Gabi’. It's not me he’s lying for. Is it Gabriella, is he scared to lose her? Or is this just all about his stupid pride? I don't think I even want to know.
Mad as I am, I hit my knee against my desk, which makes everyone look up. I slump deeper in my chair, my arms crossed. Troy also looks up, but as soon as I try to catch his gaze, he looks away.
Sneaky, dirty liar.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
As soon as homeroom is over, I get up and try as fast as I can to disappear through the door, but Troy stops me. He places his hand in the middle of my chest. I look at his hand, and then my eyes flash to him. “We need to talk,” he says.
I laugh lightly and non-amused and look at him while shaking my head. Then I sit down on one of the desks and put my feet on the chair, waiting until everyone leaves the room. When there’s nobody left but us two, Troy closes the door and walks over to me, standing right in front of me.
“And?” I ask, immediately with a sarcastic undertone in my voice. “You’ve figured out what I was talking about by now?”
Troy opens his mouth to give an answer, but he shuts it again and shakes his head.
“No. No?” I give him a look of disbelief. “You don’t know? You don't have any idea what you’ve done? You don’t have a clue about what lies and meaningless promises you’ve been telling? You don’t know how you’ve been deceiving your friends?!” I jump off the desk, which makes the chair my feet were just resting on fall down.
Troy stares at me with those big eyes. The eyes I fell in love with, back then. The eyes that were full of disbelief and surprise, instead of lies.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
“You can’t just use me as a fucking toy! You can’t just come back to me every evening after frisking around with someone else!”
I search for more words that can describe how I feel and what is actually wrong, but Troy beats me to it this time.
“What was I supposed to do, dude? Just break up with Gabriella for you? I love you, you know that well enough!”
“No, Troy, I don't!” I’m practically screaming in his face. Now, he doesn’t only look surprised and shocked, but also broken. I sigh and try to soften my voice. “I really don’t know it anymore. What am I suppose to think if you’re always with her, and every time you get the chance, you kiss her. And if you keep ignoring me and every time you’ve got the chance you kiss her, and push me aside?” My voice breaks and I feel tears well up. I fight them back and continue, whispering. “What am I supposed to think then? How am I supposed to know what you feel? How am I supposed to know the truth in this web of lies that you’ve created?”
“Web of lies?” Troy repeats, full of amazement. He seems completely confused by of my explanation.
I nod. “A web of lies. The only thing that keeps us together are lies. The only thing I hear coming out of your mouth, are lies. Lies to me, but also to Gabriella. Lies about us, about you two. Lies about you.” I swallow and cast my eyes down.
When I look up again, I feel how a single tear streams over my cheek. I take a deep breath before I continue: “Troy, be honest for one time and tell me the truth!” I’m almost begging, but my voice sounds hard, which it wasn’t supposed to.
I know, you lied
Don't wanna know why
I just, want you
To tell me what is true
Troy’s eyes have changed again completely. Now he’s looking at me, full of contempt. “Honest. You want me to be honest? Oh, okay then! I don’t care about you at all, you’re completely unimportant to me, and the only reason I was with you was because you were practically begging at my feet!”
Silence. A cold, horrifying silence. Troy’s breathing heavily and his eyes hard and furious. But then, his eyes become softer and he looks at me with something that can best be described as guilt. “Chad… Chad, I didn’t mean that…”
This time, I feel tears in my eyes that I can’t fight back again and I look down again. It’s too much, I can’t take this any longer. I feel how he puts his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off and look up again, right in Troy’s eyes. I shake my head. “I can’t do this anymore, Troy. It’s too much for me.”
Answer me
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me
I want to turn around and walk out of the room, but Troy puts his hand on my shoulder again. With his other hand he wipes away a tear, even though there’s another one immediately. And another one. And another one. He pulls me closer and before I realise what’s happening, he has pressed his lips to mine. I’m a bit shocked first, but I refuse to get carried away and I close my eyes while I’m trying to shut everything out. Troy tries to drag a little bit of passion out of me, but I don’t even give a whimper. However, the moment he tries to open my lips with his tongue, there’s something that snaps within me, and I push him away.
Troy stumbles backwards and looks at me once again with those big eyes. “Please, Chad,” he asks, begging. “You want this, you know you want this.” He takes a step towards me and grabs my wrists. “I love you,” he says, his voice thick. “I love you so fucking much, honey, I -”
And once again, there’s something that snaps within me. ‘Honey’. He said ‘honey’. He hasn’t called me that in months.
I can’t take this any longer.
Angry, no, furious, I hit Troy in the face. It’s happened before I realize. He stumbles backwards, bumps into a desk, and falls to the ground.
“It’s over, Troy,” I whisper. “It’s over.”
The answer I wanted that badly. I have it. I’ve given it myself.
I turn around and walk out of the room slamming the door so hard that one of the small windows in the door falls and breaks into a thousand pieces.
Just like my heart.
Answer me
I know you can hear me
Answer me
you thought you could play me
Answer me
Is it gonna be her or is it gonna be me