One True Love
I was just talking to a friend of mine. He asked me why do I do the things I do. Why am I living for God? As I was explaining, I started crying. I was crying because I realized how great God's love is. It's always easy to say "Jesus loves you". Yet when it hits...when it really hits...how wonderful he is; how loving he is; how he loves me no matter how much I mess up. I can't help but cry...it's like those happy tears you have when you get married. It's that terrific feeling of knowing that you'll never be alone, that one will always protect you, watch over you, love you.
I was explaining to my friend a scenario from my high school experience. One day I ran out of class. Stumbling into the bathroom, I slammed my fist into the brick wall, sobbing, doubled over. I screamed to God, cursing him for leaving me. It was like losing a loved one. Now I understand that it's better to question than to not care at all. To question God means I still care about his presence. I still care that things aren't going the way it should be. If I'm okay with his absence, that means I've stopped caring. It's like being in a relationship. When your significant other isn't being as attentive as he/she should be, it's only healthy to care. If it doesn't phase you, his/her presence may not mean as much.
My poor friend, I kept him awake, still talking about my relationship to God. I just couldn't stop. It reminded me of gushing about this new crush of mine. Instead, I'm gushing about the only constant source of perfect, unconditional love.
I've been a Christ follower for a long time. It's scary how I could just go through the motions of being Christian without really accepting Christ into my heart. Now I understand Christ's love for me, for all of the world. How could I have lived in such darkness and depravity? ...in lies..telling myself and everyone else that Jesus loves me, but never really KNOWING. It's amazing how the world is, when the blinds are removed.
I was explaining to my friend a scenario from my high school experience. One day I ran out of class. Stumbling into the bathroom, I slammed my fist into the brick wall, sobbing, doubled over. I screamed to God, cursing him for leaving me. It was like losing a loved one. Now I understand that it's better to question than to not care at all. To question God means I still care about his presence. I still care that things aren't going the way it should be. If I'm okay with his absence, that means I've stopped caring. It's like being in a relationship. When your significant other isn't being as attentive as he/she should be, it's only healthy to care. If it doesn't phase you, his/her presence may not mean as much.
My poor friend, I kept him awake, still talking about my relationship to God. I just couldn't stop. It reminded me of gushing about this new crush of mine. Instead, I'm gushing about the only constant source of perfect, unconditional love.
I've been a Christ follower for a long time. It's scary how I could just go through the motions of being Christian without really accepting Christ into my heart. Now I understand Christ's love for me, for all of the world. How could I have lived in such darkness and depravity? ...in lies..telling myself and everyone else that Jesus loves me, but never really KNOWING. It's amazing how the world is, when the blinds are removed.