A BIg Pain In My Ass!!
Life is awesome nevertheless its a big pain in my ass!! Lets see its about 9:26am and I think that I might still be intoxicated. I only drank a forty and a half last night and I feel like shit. My tolerance is down I guess because I haven't been putting them back like I use to. Ah which I think is a good thing ,but it just sucks when you do go to drink because the hangover is too much to bare for me n this old ripe age of almost 22yrs. My birthday is next tuesday and I'm not thrilled. Now don't get me wrong...birthdays are fun, but for me it is almost life changing. Change is good , however going through them is BAD. I feel like things just seem extra dramatic for me because I'm a VIrgo and have to analyze everything to a TEE! I'm working on it though...Not very recently I started praying a lot . Its a big stress reliever and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder from straight up convo with GOD. I try to give all my worries and woes to him...let him worry about it rather than me. Its hard sometimes though when you want things to be a certain way so much it consumes you. You can give it up to GOD but the thought or the expectation of what will happen next is harder to let go of for some reason. Sometimes its seems harder when you let God in your life because sometimes you feel like your always being tested and only certain results come from whatever action you choose behind door number 1,2, or 3. I feel like if I do this ...he'll be pissed and he won't help me with this... he'll just let me suffer for lesson sake. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a new BIBLE written!! It would be with all new apostles and updated to the 21st Century with the acts and stories of GOD. It would have the acceptance of gay people and I would definitely be a story GOD wanted everyone to hear about. THats for sure!!! Not saying I'm a saint, but I think I 've been to hell and back and that would make for a good chapter or 2 or 9. Basically what I think my point is in all this is I've been saved...not literally but I'm on the right path. You get right wih GOD and there is not a brick wall you can't knock down. Its havin faith in your beliefs when the fear sets in that is really the test. I'm not talking about religion either. Religion is for those who are afraid to go to hell and spirituality is for those who have already been there! I'm not afraid to go anywhere because I believe that I will be loved wherever I go!! YOu know it is weird to see myself typing about GOD though. It was never my thing before but now I just can't really function properly otherwise...you know...its different. WHen life gets tough GOD is there to tell you HELL YEAH IT IS SO GET YO SH*T TOGETHER!!! I think he is cooler than people make him out to be. I think my GOD drank forties too when he was my age! He know whats up... LOVE conquers ALL....ALL! Yo dollars ,yo cents, yo bills, that bullsh*t fight you had with your girl, yo "friends" efforts to make you feel insecure about what you know, yo heartbreak or momentary ache, yo job lost, yo asshole boss, yo feelings being false. ALL that SH*t thats makes us feel like its the end of the world as we know it... ANd thats why that one guy still felt fine ....because he knew it too! LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!!