[Books/Movies] HOW TWILIGHT SHOULD HAVE ENDED
Edward: MINE!
Jacob: MINE!
Bella: ENOUGH! God, don't you two have better things to do than fight over me and tell me how weak and stupid I am??
Edward and Jacob: Uuuuuh... no?
Bella: Grrr... well, FINE. Screw both of you, and NOT in the good way! I'm not stupid, and I can take care of myself. And I'm only this clumsy because I thought guys would like me better and WOW did I ever not see how horribly wrong that could go. Have a great life guys, I'm outta here. [BELLA goes home, apologizes to her dad for acting like a jerk, and calls her mom to apologize for treating her like a four year old child. BELLA goes on to make real friends, graduate high school, go to college, become successful in her chosen career, and eventually meet and marry a real live human guy with whom she fights sometimes because that's what relationships are like, but who respects her for the strong, intelligent woman she is. They have a kid, maybe two, and BELLA eventually dies a real and human death surrounded by family who loves her.]
Edward: ...
Jacob: ...
Edward: Oh thank GOD I don't have to hide my true feelings anymore! JACOB, I LOVE YOU!
Jacob: ... O.O???? But... Bella?
Edward: Oh God no, I only dated her because I didn't want people to know I'm gay, but dating her showed me how important it is to be true to myself, and it's you I really love, Jacob! Besides, I hate women. No, really. I really hate women.
Jacob: You know, thinking back on how you treated Bella, it all makes sense now.
Edward: So will you go out with me?
Jacob: ... no. Sorry. [JACOB walks away into his life as the werewolf king or whatever.]
Edward: [Is left standing alone in a spotlight against a dark background while the sounds of sorrowful violins fill the air. He will be alone... FOREVER.]
Fin.
Jacob: MINE!
Bella: ENOUGH! God, don't you two have better things to do than fight over me and tell me how weak and stupid I am??
Edward and Jacob: Uuuuuh... no?
Bella: Grrr... well, FINE. Screw both of you, and NOT in the good way! I'm not stupid, and I can take care of myself. And I'm only this clumsy because I thought guys would like me better and WOW did I ever not see how horribly wrong that could go. Have a great life guys, I'm outta here. [BELLA goes home, apologizes to her dad for acting like a jerk, and calls her mom to apologize for treating her like a four year old child. BELLA goes on to make real friends, graduate high school, go to college, become successful in her chosen career, and eventually meet and marry a real live human guy with whom she fights sometimes because that's what relationships are like, but who respects her for the strong, intelligent woman she is. They have a kid, maybe two, and BELLA eventually dies a real and human death surrounded by family who loves her.]
Edward: ...
Jacob: ...
Edward: Oh thank GOD I don't have to hide my true feelings anymore! JACOB, I LOVE YOU!
Jacob: ... O.O???? But... Bella?
Edward: Oh God no, I only dated her because I didn't want people to know I'm gay, but dating her showed me how important it is to be true to myself, and it's you I really love, Jacob! Besides, I hate women. No, really. I really hate women.
Jacob: You know, thinking back on how you treated Bella, it all makes sense now.
Edward: So will you go out with me?
Jacob: ... no. Sorry. [JACOB walks away into his life as the werewolf king or whatever.]
Edward: [Is left standing alone in a spotlight against a dark background while the sounds of sorrowful violins fill the air. He will be alone... FOREVER.]
Fin.