Perfect...
So much has been goin on lately..ecs. since my last post..Um, Firstly..Rachel, Michelle and anyone in Memphis do NOT speak anymore. I dont really wanna go into details about the whys and whats..lets just say we are all better off that way..the funny thing about it all is that Amanda and I were talking about it all before anything happened and I told Amanda that i could'nt date Michelle as much as she wanted to bc something wasnt right..I just didnt trust her..and tho she didnt hurt me in anyway..emotionaly speaking..or physically for that matter..but, yea its over and done with Thank GOD! anyways on to other news I have befriended every girl that Lisa cheated on me with..and i guess in someways cheated on them with me. Lisa was a huge mistake and downfall on my part..but, im extreamly excited that i have made atleast two fabulous friend out of it...as for one..she seems awkward about the whole situation even though we have made our peace..but, it is completely understandable..if you dont let it be awkward..it isnt..atleast not to me...but, that could have to do with I in no way want to make peace with Lisa..Karma is a Bitch and I beleive that whole heartedly..so one day she will know how this all feels..The worst part about it is knowing that I loved such a HORRIABLE person..i have never met someone so retched on the inside..i just do not understand it at ALL..and hopefully I never will..I would hate to be that kind of person...anyways enough about that..Right now..im kind of enjoying life..and I guess just not given a shit about the rest..all the drama..all the bad..bc it its everywhere..It hurts to know there is soo much bad in this world and a scale based with reality..you cant really change it..don't get me wrong..people can make a difference..but I dont know..It's like when someone reads or see's something horriable..or depressing they get this emotion inside of them..anger and fear..sadness..and all of this rushing together..that makes you want to do something about it..to make you want to stand up..but, how many people actually do..?..I dont know..just a thought. Another thing on my mind is .. ok, yes I'm gay..but in the same instance..I havent had the horror stories of a gay life that i have always heard about..seen..watched in document upon document..but, today I sort of got a first hand experince..The lady that brought our lunch was on the butch side..and to me i didnt even really notice..i guess bc for me thats the norm..but, at my office..its not..and they are the only people in my life that do not know im gay..for the simple fact..I Know I would be fired for it..and some of the people in the office started making jokes..in fornt of the lady..It is bad enough behind someone's back but, to just be that rude in front of someone..I got beyond pissed and hurt..Some of these people I love like my own family and it only could make me wonder what if they knew i was gay..would i be tormented..I dunno it was a weird feeling for me bc my family and friends all know..gay or straight..and they all love me and accept me excatly the way I am...I dunno it was just a horriable experince..it was like the moment when a friend of mine started to attack my life style..She told me that me being gay was my choice..and the wrong choice and one day when i came before god i would see..it was a huge fight..i do not have the same respect for this person..it was the worst feeling in the world for me..bc this was someone I trusted dearly...and now .. yea...anyways..i just wanted to share my thoughts on this..anyways..btw i am not fond of people who are Vain and Selfish...and i found it sad i called them my friend...i dont know what to do about that situation...i dunno anyways hope all is well with everyone...have a good night and Smile!
Wish i could see past the ceiling
Wish i could hear through the walls
Wish i could see past the ceiling
Wish i could hear you at all
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
Wish i could show you my anger
Wish i could tear you apart
Wish i could show you my anger
Wish you could show your own heart
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
Wish i had not believed you
Wish i wasn't so scared
Wish i had not believed you
Wish i could have prepared
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
Should i be careful what i wish for, what i wish for
*Garrison Starr*