(no subject)
I met a painfully beautiful girl this evening. I couldn't stop staring at her--dark hair, blue eyes, a lightly olive complexion and an unquestionable understanding of her own physical force, power. She made my insides turn in a little...I'd forgotten what that felt like. It's strange how you miss so much when you're wrapped up in yourself and others. Once I get past all the bullshit that is work--that is, that's what's bringing me down at this point--I hope to be able to actually tell one of them how I feel. Having nothing to lose can be extraordinarily exhilarating sometimes.
Work has become a strange source of unending, unnerving anxiety at this point. But at least it's made me appreciate what I have that's outside of 5PM. I can't ask for much more than that. And I'm still so excited to be living in Philly...this city never ceases to make me feel welcome, wanted, loved and happy. And my cabbie this evening, Ahmed, reinforced that love. Sometimes I just want to be swallowed up by it...but then I can contrast it with my intense desire for space, for breathing room, for the sense of actually being alone. So rare nowadays.
Work has become a strange source of unending, unnerving anxiety at this point. But at least it's made me appreciate what I have that's outside of 5PM. I can't ask for much more than that. And I'm still so excited to be living in Philly...this city never ceases to make me feel welcome, wanted, loved and happy. And my cabbie this evening, Ahmed, reinforced that love. Sometimes I just want to be swallowed up by it...but then I can contrast it with my intense desire for space, for breathing room, for the sense of actually being alone. So rare nowadays.