Just keep swimming?
So Operation P.E.A. has commenced. Push Everyone Away.
I sent the bomb of an email to the guy who had the most potential. Just because seeing my ex with his skank in a movie theater almost brought me to tears (shock to me too, guys, didn't think my stomach and heart would've done THAT) shows me I don't have anything to give emotionally right now. And it's unfair to ask him to wait. I don't want him to think I'm using him or wasting his time. So that one sucks.
Everyone else has kinda already been at arms distance. I was very surprised by Mike's curiosity about that situation (above) and all of my guys for that matter. And I can say I like where our relationship is going... just hanging. That's all I want right now. That's all I can handle. And guy-with-most-potential has been hinting and pushing for me. Hence the pushing away.
And it's safe to say my general attitude at my problems is not the best it can be - not bad, but not good - and this weekend has shown me that added alcohol to said attitude is not a good combination. I was so mean and ANGRAY Thursday night that I stepped on a girl's hand when she was trying to save my cell phone on the ground, left Nikki at the bar (oh no, not just standing at the bar - I left with the car), and sent a whole bunch of angray drunk texts. lol After my recovery period of Friday where I spent the entire day in the pool trying not to puke, Saturday night had the potential to be better because I was semi-over all the other issues. Insert alcohol? Got mean as a snake again! Because I started thinking about schtuff.
So lesson learned! Stay home! Stick with the DVDs, which last night I came to the funny realization that One Tree Hill has some of the worst actors lol. But gaaahhh! So yeah! And maybe once I get a second job, I'll be able to work off the frustration until the 2nd job itself becomes the frustration. I applied at Old Navy, Michaels, Ulta, and will be applying at Blockbuster. Some real winners there! Ooooh just had an idea: Starbucks!
Oh and I downloaded the WHOLE Finding Nemo soundtrack and my favorite song from Wall-E - "Define Dancing". So that's what I'll be enjoying during work today. Booo, Monday blues. (*is gonna steal Finding Nemo so I can watch it some time this week*)
I sent the bomb of an email to the guy who had the most potential. Just because seeing my ex with his skank in a movie theater almost brought me to tears (shock to me too, guys, didn't think my stomach and heart would've done THAT) shows me I don't have anything to give emotionally right now. And it's unfair to ask him to wait. I don't want him to think I'm using him or wasting his time. So that one sucks.
Everyone else has kinda already been at arms distance. I was very surprised by Mike's curiosity about that situation (above) and all of my guys for that matter. And I can say I like where our relationship is going... just hanging. That's all I want right now. That's all I can handle. And guy-with-most-potential has been hinting and pushing for me. Hence the pushing away.
And it's safe to say my general attitude at my problems is not the best it can be - not bad, but not good - and this weekend has shown me that added alcohol to said attitude is not a good combination. I was so mean and ANGRAY Thursday night that I stepped on a girl's hand when she was trying to save my cell phone on the ground, left Nikki at the bar (oh no, not just standing at the bar - I left with the car), and sent a whole bunch of angray drunk texts. lol After my recovery period of Friday where I spent the entire day in the pool trying not to puke, Saturday night had the potential to be better because I was semi-over all the other issues. Insert alcohol? Got mean as a snake again! Because I started thinking about schtuff.
So lesson learned! Stay home! Stick with the DVDs, which last night I came to the funny realization that One Tree Hill has some of the worst actors lol. But gaaahhh! So yeah! And maybe once I get a second job, I'll be able to work off the frustration until the 2nd job itself becomes the frustration. I applied at Old Navy, Michaels, Ulta, and will be applying at Blockbuster. Some real winners there! Ooooh just had an idea: Starbucks!
Oh and I downloaded the WHOLE Finding Nemo soundtrack and my favorite song from Wall-E - "Define Dancing". So that's what I'll be enjoying during work today. Booo, Monday blues. (*is gonna steal Finding Nemo so I can watch it some time this week*)