i aM CuReD!!!
May 15th, 2002.
The day that I heard the words: "You have Leukemia."
A day that I will remember for the rest of my life, b/c it is the day that my life made a complete 180 and caused me to go on a completely different path.
May 15th, 2007.
A day that I can say I am officially cured from that cancer. =) The 5 year mark is what one could call a "benchmark" when it comes to cancer, b/c you are less susceptible for it to come back. I don't know about you, but having a reduced possibility of recurring cancer is pretty much awesome. =)
I look back and can't believe everything I have been through.
September 11th, 2002
I've been looking at my pictures and they make me sad, just seeing myself as a NORMAL person... I mean, ppl don't think about what it is to be able to go out to a crowded place (a movie theatre, a mall, a party, school) without having to take a weekly blood test to see if it's ok for them to be there. Ppl don't think about what it is to be able to hug their friends, or kiss their b/f's and g/f's freely without worrying about getting some infectious disease. Ppl don't think about what it's like to get a fever and NOT have to rush to the hospital. Ppl take everything for granted, and it's something I used to do also, until I got this. It makes me upset, frustrated and very sad to see all the things I can't do, didn't do and won't be able to do until 2003 (Hoping everything goes well and there aren't anymore hold-backs). I just wish ppl could understand more and APPRECIATE the hand they got, b/c not all ppl are so lucky. I know there are ppl a lot worse off than me and I am glad things aren't to that point, but being in this situation made me realize that I need to take things as they come, and although I may get upset over things, I should always realize they could be worse, and realize that I'm going to get through this... (Even though time seems to be rolling by very slowly..)
August 3rd, 2004
I hate that I have the energy level of an 89 yr. old grandma at age 18. I hate that I have to force myself to eat when I'm not even hungry b/c if I don't, I get nauseous. I hate that I have to drink hell of water all the time b/c I have so much poison in my system. I hate that I have to remember to take *insert number here* pills every night. (I have a different pill schedule every day of the week) I hate that if it's not one thing bothering me, it's another. I hate that I'm whining like a stupid little wuss who can't handle it. I hate that I was more of a "trooper" when I was under more/worse chemo. I hate that I'm not able to enjoy myself w/ my friends and would rather just be laying in bed. I hate that NO ONE understands what I go thru and only make their stupid assumptions as to what my problem is. My body is just so fed up w/ 2+ yrs. of this medicinal bullshit and my brain is catching up.
I know I only have one more month left and I keep telling myself that, but I'm literally SICK of being SICK! My poor little body has been thru so much in the last 2 yrs, it's exhausted and it needs a break.
I think of how my life has made another complete 180. Here I am, a 21 yr. old SJSU student living on my own, in charge of my life in its entirety and I must say, it is exactly where I want it to be. =)
I can honestly say I have no complaints, besides the fact that I wish time went by slower b/c there's so much to do and enjoy and so little time to get it all done. I can't believe it's already been 5 years since my blessing in disguise and I am still being incredibly blessed. =D
I am so grateful to be alive!
The day that I heard the words: "You have Leukemia."
A day that I will remember for the rest of my life, b/c it is the day that my life made a complete 180 and caused me to go on a completely different path.
May 15th, 2007.
A day that I can say I am officially cured from that cancer. =) The 5 year mark is what one could call a "benchmark" when it comes to cancer, b/c you are less susceptible for it to come back. I don't know about you, but having a reduced possibility of recurring cancer is pretty much awesome. =)
I look back and can't believe everything I have been through.
September 11th, 2002
I've been looking at my pictures and they make me sad, just seeing myself as a NORMAL person... I mean, ppl don't think about what it is to be able to go out to a crowded place (a movie theatre, a mall, a party, school) without having to take a weekly blood test to see if it's ok for them to be there. Ppl don't think about what it is to be able to hug their friends, or kiss their b/f's and g/f's freely without worrying about getting some infectious disease. Ppl don't think about what it's like to get a fever and NOT have to rush to the hospital. Ppl take everything for granted, and it's something I used to do also, until I got this. It makes me upset, frustrated and very sad to see all the things I can't do, didn't do and won't be able to do until 2003 (Hoping everything goes well and there aren't anymore hold-backs). I just wish ppl could understand more and APPRECIATE the hand they got, b/c not all ppl are so lucky. I know there are ppl a lot worse off than me and I am glad things aren't to that point, but being in this situation made me realize that I need to take things as they come, and although I may get upset over things, I should always realize they could be worse, and realize that I'm going to get through this... (Even though time seems to be rolling by very slowly..)
August 3rd, 2004
I hate that I have the energy level of an 89 yr. old grandma at age 18. I hate that I have to force myself to eat when I'm not even hungry b/c if I don't, I get nauseous. I hate that I have to drink hell of water all the time b/c I have so much poison in my system. I hate that I have to remember to take *insert number here* pills every night. (I have a different pill schedule every day of the week) I hate that if it's not one thing bothering me, it's another. I hate that I'm whining like a stupid little wuss who can't handle it. I hate that I was more of a "trooper" when I was under more/worse chemo. I hate that I'm not able to enjoy myself w/ my friends and would rather just be laying in bed. I hate that NO ONE understands what I go thru and only make their stupid assumptions as to what my problem is. My body is just so fed up w/ 2+ yrs. of this medicinal bullshit and my brain is catching up.
I know I only have one more month left and I keep telling myself that, but I'm literally SICK of being SICK! My poor little body has been thru so much in the last 2 yrs, it's exhausted and it needs a break.
I think of how my life has made another complete 180. Here I am, a 21 yr. old SJSU student living on my own, in charge of my life in its entirety and I must say, it is exactly where I want it to be. =)
- I have my health back w/ very few residual side effects.
- I am still close w/ my family who was there throughout everything and new family I've inherited, as well.
- I have wonderfully amazing friends from back home and new friends I have made here that I know I can always count on.
- I have met a guy who makes me ridiculously happy and I can't even believe how perfect he is for me.
- I have this internship where I love what we do and the people I work with.
- I am an orientation leader and I am super excited to work with and make bonds with everyone this summer.
- After next Wednesday I will be done w/ all of my GE bullshit and after a wonderful school-free summer I will be able to start taking my social work classes.
- I have a renewed sense of my purpose in life and through all my efforts, I believe I am slowly making this world a better place.
I can honestly say I have no complaints, besides the fact that I wish time went by slower b/c there's so much to do and enjoy and so little time to get it all done. I can't believe it's already been 5 years since my blessing in disguise and I am still being incredibly blessed. =D
I am so grateful to be alive!