(no subject)
Please speak slowly my heart is learning, teach me heartache, stop this burning now.
so once again i've found the purpose of my writing... i find that my heart has once again returned to this blood pan to pour forth. I can once again feel as though there is something inside of me that is trying to get out... as oppose to an empty feeling... maybe love has deicded to finally intervene... for my years as fate's bitch has left my spirits withered and beaten, like a traveler who journey has not ended.
But i return to his my thoughts away from thoughts, while i bear the fruits of a new beginning... as i once again slowly withdrew back to the silence of my former self, i fell upon a trap, a trap set by a force whose face is hidden in the crowds of my dreams... its this face that left me a present in dark path back to depression... and this trap, this present, thsi person .. her name is almost unspoken without a smile and i defy my own equation by drawing her as variable into me.
And yet i feel the shortening life of us as if this were just a candle whose wick has been cut. For even as i dwell in a world where flowers bloom, i still see my dark path looming behind.. and i think of the years i spent looking up at the dark sky and only seeing an expression of the void in me...
and yet, depression now seems like a single cloud on a clear sunny day. I wonder if it will ever dissapate but know that it will bring some worry. As i flee from the shadow of this cloud that feeds on my own fear of it , i see her.. with an aura that fits to mine like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle... and i embrace her only to stop caring about the cloud. Only to glance back and see it shrink and shrink.... I see her in my heart, in my dreams, out the window, down the street, outside the fort of my battle-worn heart, and still smiling.
And as soon as my gates lower and she walks in, and is but steps from the core of my heart, she turns to another and leave my castle, now cold with the chills of the outside and the dust from the long road i have traveled...
but maybe hope has decided to spring up in the fight against fate. the same fate who has for my whole life, led me through the forest of depression, and lead me to the gates of death, only to shine a small light through the darkness that send me running back through the forest, only to find that the ray of light has slowly dimmed to a radiating point of distortion and than to nothing. Fate sends me back into this forest and as i continuouisly turn back to the where the life was once, in hopes of seeing it light up again, that light turns to an arrow that pierces my heart and pins another piece of my sanity to the gates of death.
so once again i've found the purpose of my writing... i find that my heart has once again returned to this blood pan to pour forth. I can once again feel as though there is something inside of me that is trying to get out... as oppose to an empty feeling... maybe love has deicded to finally intervene... for my years as fate's bitch has left my spirits withered and beaten, like a traveler who journey has not ended.
But i return to his my thoughts away from thoughts, while i bear the fruits of a new beginning... as i once again slowly withdrew back to the silence of my former self, i fell upon a trap, a trap set by a force whose face is hidden in the crowds of my dreams... its this face that left me a present in dark path back to depression... and this trap, this present, thsi person .. her name is almost unspoken without a smile and i defy my own equation by drawing her as variable into me.
And yet i feel the shortening life of us as if this were just a candle whose wick has been cut. For even as i dwell in a world where flowers bloom, i still see my dark path looming behind.. and i think of the years i spent looking up at the dark sky and only seeing an expression of the void in me...
and yet, depression now seems like a single cloud on a clear sunny day. I wonder if it will ever dissapate but know that it will bring some worry. As i flee from the shadow of this cloud that feeds on my own fear of it , i see her.. with an aura that fits to mine like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle... and i embrace her only to stop caring about the cloud. Only to glance back and see it shrink and shrink.... I see her in my heart, in my dreams, out the window, down the street, outside the fort of my battle-worn heart, and still smiling.
And as soon as my gates lower and she walks in, and is but steps from the core of my heart, she turns to another and leave my castle, now cold with the chills of the outside and the dust from the long road i have traveled...
but maybe hope has decided to spring up in the fight against fate. the same fate who has for my whole life, led me through the forest of depression, and lead me to the gates of death, only to shine a small light through the darkness that send me running back through the forest, only to find that the ray of light has slowly dimmed to a radiating point of distortion and than to nothing. Fate sends me back into this forest and as i continuouisly turn back to the where the life was once, in hopes of seeing it light up again, that light turns to an arrow that pierces my heart and pins another piece of my sanity to the gates of death.