Jul 11, 2007 12:38
So summer’s half over, and I cannot wait to get back to Cornell. A few days ago, I actually dreamed about campus. That’s usually how I first know I’m in love.
Even though I am busy interning and volunteering, whenever I get away from campus, I somehow feel like I am wasting time. No matter what I do, I always end up feeling like my life is on hiatus and that I am stuck instead of moving forward. It’s a frustrating feeling, and I most likely will feel completely different in two months when I’m tearing my hair out from all the stress, but I wish I were in class.
I think I like to know what I’m doing in the future. I need a plan. I might change it often, but I need a plan. Even though I tend to spontaneously come up with crazy things to do and have to drag my friends along with me, I like having a general framework to move within. I think it’s a little easier when I know there’s a place I should be in the future. It makes me not so terrified that I am growing older.
I once wanted to be married by the age of 25. Maybe I still do. That’s only five years away. Sometimes, I cannot believe that I will no longer be a teenager in less than three months. That’s really scary.