c'est la vie, ca va?
Salut mes amies!
Aujourd'hui, j'ai réalisé quelque chose. C'est la vie. Peu importe comment les choses semblent mal mai pour vous, il ya toujours quelqu'un d'autre moins bien lotis.
And I'll leave my crappy french there for the time being :)
But it is very true.
I've been feeling a bit confused and angry and panicky lately. Nothing very important caused it, but it seems major to me because it is my problem. But I still sit here and wonder why the hell I'm feeling like this when I KNOW I have friends who are feeling much worse and who have much bigger problems than me.
But that's also kinda part of the problem. I can't deal with my own problems, and my overseas friends who are going through a rough time and feeling down are too far away for me to give them a big hug and let them know I'm here for them. I can't help myself and I can't help them. Sucks pretty badly.
I've gotten so tired of smiling lately, I just want to cry, but I know that's just the frustration and lack of sleep talking.
On the flip side of the coin, things have actually been getting better at work (looks like the boss has got someone lined up to take on a few of the vacant positions *yay!*) and I feel like my art has improved a little, and my nan is looking a lot better than she has been - the dialysis is working *thankyouthankyouthankyou*.
I think I'm gonna be a little hormonal now.
WHY does everyone insist that I need to get a partner? WHY? I DO NOT WANT ONE. Is there something so wrong with that? I'm selfish and don't want to drag anyone else into it, is that so wrong?
My best friends dad is trying to hook me up with him DESPITE the fact that Dors has a GF sorta. Dors himself has been very...affectionate....lately and THAT is making me jumpy. Then my sister told me flat out last night that she wants me to marry Dors (dead serious) because he's like part of the family anyway and would make the best brother-in-law ever. Mum suggested last week that if I don't want a boyfriend, I should get a girlfriend instead. And the rest of my family keep harassing me about getting ANY boyfriend!
I just want to hang with my friends, do my art, sleep whenever I want/can and listen to my damn music. Is that so wrong? And I'm not in the best shape anyway - who the hell would want a girlfriend that spends most of her spare time having hot showers and laying down because it's too painful to do anything else?
I miss the affection sometimes (a lot atm), but I couldn't put someone through what I'm going through.
URUSAI NA! MOU II YOTTARA! YAMETEYO!
*Sighs* It always seems that I blog when I'm upset, ne?
I promise I'll do another blog soon about some jewellery I'm making <3
Bonne Nuit mes amies, je t'aime tous!
Aujourd'hui, j'ai réalisé quelque chose. C'est la vie. Peu importe comment les choses semblent mal mai pour vous, il ya toujours quelqu'un d'autre moins bien lotis.
And I'll leave my crappy french there for the time being :)
But it is very true.
I've been feeling a bit confused and angry and panicky lately. Nothing very important caused it, but it seems major to me because it is my problem. But I still sit here and wonder why the hell I'm feeling like this when I KNOW I have friends who are feeling much worse and who have much bigger problems than me.
But that's also kinda part of the problem. I can't deal with my own problems, and my overseas friends who are going through a rough time and feeling down are too far away for me to give them a big hug and let them know I'm here for them. I can't help myself and I can't help them. Sucks pretty badly.
I've gotten so tired of smiling lately, I just want to cry, but I know that's just the frustration and lack of sleep talking.
On the flip side of the coin, things have actually been getting better at work (looks like the boss has got someone lined up to take on a few of the vacant positions *yay!*) and I feel like my art has improved a little, and my nan is looking a lot better than she has been - the dialysis is working *thankyouthankyouthankyou*.
I think I'm gonna be a little hormonal now.
WHY does everyone insist that I need to get a partner? WHY? I DO NOT WANT ONE. Is there something so wrong with that? I'm selfish and don't want to drag anyone else into it, is that so wrong?
My best friends dad is trying to hook me up with him DESPITE the fact that Dors has a GF sorta. Dors himself has been very...affectionate....lately and THAT is making me jumpy. Then my sister told me flat out last night that she wants me to marry Dors (dead serious) because he's like part of the family anyway and would make the best brother-in-law ever. Mum suggested last week that if I don't want a boyfriend, I should get a girlfriend instead. And the rest of my family keep harassing me about getting ANY boyfriend!
I just want to hang with my friends, do my art, sleep whenever I want/can and listen to my damn music. Is that so wrong? And I'm not in the best shape anyway - who the hell would want a girlfriend that spends most of her spare time having hot showers and laying down because it's too painful to do anything else?
I miss the affection sometimes (a lot atm), but I couldn't put someone through what I'm going through.
URUSAI NA! MOU II YOTTARA! YAMETEYO!
*Sighs* It always seems that I blog when I'm upset, ne?
I promise I'll do another blog soon about some jewellery I'm making <3
Bonne Nuit mes amies, je t'aime tous!