(no subject)
I keep thinking of things I could write here, and then I don't actually write them. It's as though I've grown tired of my words, tired of my own thoughts. Committing them to words and typing them out to be read feels...I don't know really. Too much effort, I guess.
But a lot of things feel like too much effort these days. It doesn't help that most of the time that I'm having thoughts I would consider writing down, I'm nowhere near a computer or paper and pen, and I'm not likely to be so for hours. By the time I get home from work I'm weary from the day's efforts and still have to think about dinner, washing the piled up dishes in the sink, bills, laundry, the usual. Writing down my thoughts is way down the list, and when I do get time I just want to veg out. Sit down with my SO and his son and watch anime or something.
I feel like I've grown boring. Nothing feels worth the investment of time. All my projects, drawing, writing, crafting things with my hands, making music--it all feels empty to me. Maybe I will find the ability to care again in future. I don't know. In the meantime, I am here, eating breakfast, typing this on my phone because it's too much effort to get out my laptop (haha!) and making myself commit these thoughts to words, because I said I would try to do that.