Keeping tabs...
I got ahold of Buchanan tonight. I was depressed and no one was around to talk to, so I ended up calling him. Man, I miss having him around, it was like having a big brother who ALWAYS made things better. While talking to him, I rememebered to ask for Dawn's phone number.
I got ahold of her tonight too. She told me about the breakup she had with Mike (which was horse-shit) and all the little things we have missed in eachothers life. I miss her a bunch too. She was like this bigger, older, wiser, sister that I always wanted. She wants me to come visit her for Spring Break, which may happen. She made me think about a lot of things, about the direction my life has been, and where it will be in a few years.
She makes me want to pick up and leave. Just start over again. Everything. If I had nothing holding me back, I'd probably pick up and move to Florida with her. I know moving from Pearland to Pasadena wasn't that far of a move, but I still feel like I left a lot of things behinds... including my friends.
Tommy doesn't understand that, he thinks "you live 20 mins away from your old friends, go hang out with them". It's different. It's not like I can just drive down the road, and if they happen to be home, just drop by unexpectedly. Now, I've got to call, make sure scheduling is good, and then drive my ass all the way over there. It's totally different. My life has changed, I have a new set of 'friends'... if you want to call them that.
I've found that when you get depressed and you need someone to talk to you, you always find out who are your REAL friends, and who aren't.
Anyhow, but yea. I'm ready to stabilize my life again. I'm tired of all the drama and the crying, the heartache, the everything. I'm thinking about going back to my psychologist and talking with him. I need someone to talk to, deperately. It's starting to eat away at me. AT LEAST then, I'd know that someone was listening, that someone half-assed cared.
I got ahold of her tonight too. She told me about the breakup she had with Mike (which was horse-shit) and all the little things we have missed in eachothers life. I miss her a bunch too. She was like this bigger, older, wiser, sister that I always wanted. She wants me to come visit her for Spring Break, which may happen. She made me think about a lot of things, about the direction my life has been, and where it will be in a few years.
She makes me want to pick up and leave. Just start over again. Everything. If I had nothing holding me back, I'd probably pick up and move to Florida with her. I know moving from Pearland to Pasadena wasn't that far of a move, but I still feel like I left a lot of things behinds... including my friends.
Tommy doesn't understand that, he thinks "you live 20 mins away from your old friends, go hang out with them". It's different. It's not like I can just drive down the road, and if they happen to be home, just drop by unexpectedly. Now, I've got to call, make sure scheduling is good, and then drive my ass all the way over there. It's totally different. My life has changed, I have a new set of 'friends'... if you want to call them that.
I've found that when you get depressed and you need someone to talk to you, you always find out who are your REAL friends, and who aren't.
Anyhow, but yea. I'm ready to stabilize my life again. I'm tired of all the drama and the crying, the heartache, the everything. I'm thinking about going back to my psychologist and talking with him. I need someone to talk to, deperately. It's starting to eat away at me. AT LEAST then, I'd know that someone was listening, that someone half-assed cared.