WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DEATH BED?!?!
How the hell am I supposed to die without my fucking death bed?
Whatev's.
This second post of the day is only to touch on a few things my virus-ridden body has conned my brain into finding amusing.
1. So, one of my agents asked me if I had a fever, and I said I didn't know. But, I'm leaving in about 30 minutes, so this will give me an excuse to use my Spongebob Thermometer. And he laughed at the fact that I had one, but I told him that it was no laughing matter. You see...the Spongebob Thermometer excels where other thermometers fail by playing the Spongebob Squarepants theme when it's done calculating your deathly temperature. That's a point for science right there. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea now, bitch?!!
2. On a related note to the Spongebob Thermometer, he asked me if it was rectal, and I replied with a horrified NO!!!!! He then concluded that of course it couldn't be because a rectal thermometer would most certainly play the Brokeback Mountain theme. :) This made me laugh and I've now decided that our scientists need to stop arguing about Pluto and get on the ball with my Brokeback Mountain Rectal Thermometer in time for the 2007 Holiday Season. Imagine the fun I'll have stuffing the hell out of my friends stocking with these little beauties!!! :)
3. I think I'm on the Top 10 Most Wanted List at the Grammar Police's Sherrif Station. It seems I am Serial Apostrophe Rapist/Abuser. I use them no matter what the context. The sad thing is, when I read my posts later, I see said offending apostrophes and cry a little at my grammatical ineptitude.
I'm leaving work early because I'm sick. But, I can't pass up the opportunity to use and abuse the daylight hours, so I'm heading over to Best Buy to buy my new car stereo and possibly have it installed today.
Huzzah!
Not having a Death Bed can Suck it!
Whatev's.
This second post of the day is only to touch on a few things my virus-ridden body has conned my brain into finding amusing.
1. So, one of my agents asked me if I had a fever, and I said I didn't know. But, I'm leaving in about 30 minutes, so this will give me an excuse to use my Spongebob Thermometer. And he laughed at the fact that I had one, but I told him that it was no laughing matter. You see...the Spongebob Thermometer excels where other thermometers fail by playing the Spongebob Squarepants theme when it's done calculating your deathly temperature. That's a point for science right there. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea now, bitch?!!
2. On a related note to the Spongebob Thermometer, he asked me if it was rectal, and I replied with a horrified NO!!!!! He then concluded that of course it couldn't be because a rectal thermometer would most certainly play the Brokeback Mountain theme. :) This made me laugh and I've now decided that our scientists need to stop arguing about Pluto and get on the ball with my Brokeback Mountain Rectal Thermometer in time for the 2007 Holiday Season. Imagine the fun I'll have stuffing the hell out of my friends stocking with these little beauties!!! :)
3. I think I'm on the Top 10 Most Wanted List at the Grammar Police's Sherrif Station. It seems I am Serial Apostrophe Rapist/Abuser. I use them no matter what the context. The sad thing is, when I read my posts later, I see said offending apostrophes and cry a little at my grammatical ineptitude.
I'm leaving work early because I'm sick. But, I can't pass up the opportunity to use and abuse the daylight hours, so I'm heading over to Best Buy to buy my new car stereo and possibly have it installed today.
Huzzah!
Not having a Death Bed can Suck it!